Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The (Rove) Love That Dares Not Speak Its Name

Oh, for chrissake! I'm just about to lose it now. ABC News' Mark Halperin's ho-in' ways truly know no bounds.

As one of the cardinal sins of being the ultimate Inside The Beltway impresario is to admit to being just that, the pundits and political media creatures-of-the-night will go to no ends of pure lunacy to spout not only their (imaginary) badge of impartiality, but to deliver a one-two punch with their (blindingly ridiculous) insights into political reality beyond Washington.

This time around, Mark Halperin tells us what we outside the beltway are really all about:

If Democrats win a big victory next Tuesday, it will be interesting to hear Rove's explanation. But for goodness' sake, as Abramowitz was smart enough to demonstrate, people who live in Bethesda, Chevy Chase, and Manhattan should understand that in much of red America, Rove is beloved and respected, and they should ask themselves why that is.

So come on, you Red State Wonders in the blogosphere... tell us how your Rove Love surely overfloweth, if you even know who the dude is. I'm going to go hurl, again.

Considering the only place Big Media hoes have ever witnessed this mysterious Rove Love, which we're told burns deep in all our hearts here in the heartland, is within the mega-confines of a micro-managed, ultra-controlled, carefully staged fundraiser, or on Air Force One, or at some vote-trolling stopover at a hand-picked, Republican-sponsored event, then no doubt it could very well look like a Rove fuckfest out here, given that staged, elitist vista.

But guess what, Halperin? This may totally blow your squirelly mind, but some of us figured-out long ago that TV is fake. And so are you. Now shut-up and Note yourself back into your delusional power-trip of mainlining mainstream sensibilities -- and leave us the f alone.

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Monday, October 30, 2006

Bigger Than Jesus

Halloween is overtaking Christmas as the most over-the-top holiday of the year. We've already gone through two costume changes, two parties, one Harry Potter dinner, a monster truck-load of candy corn (me), and the damn day's not even here. After viewing her best friend's front yard, wildly decorated to within every blade of grass with a host of holy ghosties and webbing and tombstones and scattered bones, my daughter exclaimed, "Wow. This is amazing. We've got to catch-up, Mom."

Sorry, wee one. That one smallish pumpkin on the walkway and the lovely picture you made at school now taped to the front door is about it for our association-ruled house. And that $4 plastic light-up jack-o-lantern that burns through battery life faster than a laptop. Now go forth and create yet another costume, the most popular this year being the $10 "Mean Evil" (Medieval) Princess gown found on the half-price rack at Eckerd's. It needed only a few additions from mommy's infinitely coveted accessory closet.

And yeah, all you Harry Potter haters, the Three Hermiones were from a Harry Potter-themed dinner, sponsored by *** Holy Gospel According To Hogwarts, Batman *** our church. Take that, you fucktard Gwinnettian.

Abort That

How do you silence a blowhard talk show host? Tell him you had an abortion! If he responds at all, chances are it will be with total fucktard idiocy, as in this case. One day men will de-volve themselves right off of this planet, mark my word. From Stephanie Kline's blog:

Obviously, he (talk show host) didn't hear me. "What's your baby daddy up to these days?" (asked the talk show host.)

"I don't have a baby daddy. When I discovered my husband was off running around town with another woman while I was pregnant, I had an abortion and a divorce. That's what the book is about, moving on when you find yourself in a situation you'd never imagined." DEAD AIR. He said nothing. I nearly said, "Hello?" to check if anyone was on the other end of the phone.

After a really long silence, he responded, "I don't even know what to say to that." I'd shocked the shock-jock. I hadn't meant to. It's not my fault he didn't bother to skim Straight Up And Dirty before plugging it on his show. Instead, he spent a good portion of air time talking about how much he favors a Grey Goose Dirty Martini.

Then after more silent reflection, he added, "Did you know abortions can affect future pregnancies?" He said this to punish me, somehow. He wanted to make it clear that what I did was wrong, and that I would be punished. He didn't discuss God or his beliefs, but I could tell, in the response he managed to muster, his God punished people.

It was an ignorant statement, assuming abortions lead to problems sometime down the line. "Well mine is progressing just fine," I responded. Fuck you very much.

Order a copy of Straight Up And Dirty in the meantime. Praise the Lord and pass the martinis and a copy of this book. Ha. There are a few total fucktards in this town, and elsewhere, who'd be real nervous real quick if I ever decided to blog as honestly as Ms. Klein.

Hitting Home

I'm sorry, this picture by Doug Mills and shamelessly stolen from the NYT, made me cry today; I, too, have a six-year old girl. What a horror October has been. This war, and the pain it inflicts, belongs to all of us. Full story here.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Pretty As A Picture

Western North Carolina is a'blaze with color. These snaps from pals Tom and Cheryl Roche, who attended a swanky wedding in Asheville last weekend. They're the smartly-dressed ones who appear to be having a lovely time.

Friday, October 27, 2006

The Magna Carta of Web 2.0

As delightful as it is to find pure villany in the Bells, since the fate of net neutrality lies in the hands of their lobbyists and their silos of cash, the telco lobbyists did change the face of Internet copyright law, for the better one might argue. Fascinating stuff. From Tim Wu writing for Slate.

Under the copyright code, YouTube is in much better legal shape than anyone seems to want to accept. The site enjoys a strong legal "safe harbor," a law largely respected by the television and film industries for the choices it gives them.

But the most interesting thing is where all this legal armor protecting YouTube—and most of the Web 2.0 (user-generated content) industry—comes from. It's the product of the Bell lobby—Google's bitter opponent in the ongoing Net Neutrality debates.

So, while YouTube may be the creative child of Silicon Valley, it is also, as much, the offspring of Bell lobbying power.

This is one of those legalese pieces I will have to read at least 3X to wrap my pea-brain around, but trust me, I will. And I still feel that we the people, or at least our legislators whom we send to Capitol Hill, should be the ones writing legislation, not corporate America. But that's soooo spittin' into the hurricane winds of our current political norms/corruption.

UPDATE: Uh, just in case.

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Thursday, October 26, 2006

Theremin Noir

It just doesn't get any more strango funky-cool than a theremin player on Boing Boing... especially when you know him because he's married to one of your best friends! I see you Robbie V. Stylin' and thereminin' out there on the West Coast. How? Because I've got blogger X-ray vision.

Pimps and Hos

This Mark Halperin/ABC News quote just made me roll out laughing, as I mention in a comment here where I found it. Thanks for the tip, Doug.

As an economic model, if you want to thrive like Fox News Channel, you want to have a future, you better make sure conservatives find your product appealing.

It's a hoot not so much because he's such a total ho; rather, it's funny because I can't think of a single lifelong MSM political reporter who would know an "economic model" if it hit 'em upside the head. Oh they know ratings and polls and all that kinda data, but that's about it, hon.

I don't have the heart to tell him there's a slight difference out here in the real world between ratings and economic realities. What a joke! Keep it coming, blow hards. I'm almost there.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Land Deals In Paraguay

Oh boy! Strike up the band, Johnny. Here we go again with a treasure trove of snarky comments regarding Bush's revelation that he too uses "the Google." Don't miss #187. Sonny's likely bought-up all the good stuff, though. Even Second Life's gonna be hard to get in on with all the mainstream buzz they're stirrin' up.

Someone Is More Pissed Off Funny Than You

And I found him! The dude, Bob Lefsetz, is an aging, ugly and angry music biz attorney who truly answers to no one. In other words, one of the last great pompous shagger types, full of shit and full of themselves, the kinda guys who were just crazy-great in bed -- before the years of getoverself-medication took their best parts away and left them to, at last, overwork their mighty fine brains instead. Whether with prescriptions or booze, it seems to happen to the best of 'em. But I diverge.

Bobby "Lestat's" caustic honesty is wicked, hilarious and unflinching -- unrivaled by any, except for the great DTL. (Oh, don't you too wish that boy would blog?? Think of the chick-fans who would line-up to do his, uh, bidding! Some of 'em might be a little matronly and grey at this point, but the feminine vital skills get nothing but better with age. That's the rub isn't it? And you dumb fucks out there chasing young trim are so missing out on the good stuff, besides being laughed at royally behind your backs.) Anyways, I diverge again...

Here's an excerpt from Ugly Bobby -- the best blogger out there. Full blog here:

Oh, don’t you LAUGH when baby boomers start railing against MySpace? These same personages who hitchhiked all over America are fearful that Little Benjamin and Madison are too fucking dumb to ferret out true from false online and some bogeyman is going to knock on the front door, since the kids proferred their address and cell number, and whisk them away into slavery, if not DEATH!

We live in a land of rampant falsehoods perpetrated by baby boomers all proffered in the name of keeping those uttering them in CONTROL! You doubt me? Just look at the President.

WARNING: I don't recommend subscribing to his stuff though, as he's totally manic and your Inbox will get flooded with ranting. Then again, maybe that's your kinda thing. Just more advice you didn't ask for.

HA-HA NOTE: I may be the last person in America to have seen these, but Gawd, they will crack you the fuck up! Thanks Tania, for the clue-in. I can't stop watching! Hilarious. It's good stuff, especially if you loathe Fundies. (Oh jeez, it just gets worse and worse as it plays out.)

This post put together by DrivinNCryin: "Playing records, Patti Smith and Howlin' Wolf." A special prize to the first person who can name the song & LP that line is from.

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Friday, October 20, 2006

Fall Festival

Hey Angry Scarletts fan(s) -- TrueGritz Episode #10, in which Sas and Pauline go all political at the State Fair, is now online for your broadband pleasure. Lemme take you there now.

Or, keeping with the multimedia fest of this one entry alone, check-out one of my archived podcasts about political corruption and big bad telcos here. Wait 'til those folks at BellSouth/AT&T control the Internet! Blog while you can, before they shut the whole thing down, is my advice you never asked for.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Ahhh.... Young Love

... is really quite stressful it seems, as a New Orleans couple I (and the NYT of course) once noted in a blog entry in the aftermath of Katrina is now dead. Very dead. Dude first killed, dismembered and cooked (I shit you not) his best gal, went and made merry one last time, then hurled himself off of a high place. Good Gawd Awmighty, you sure made misery on folks with that storm, now didn't you?

And for all you sickos who keep hitting this blog with your Google "Zachery Bowen Addie Hall suicide pictures" searches, sorry -- you won't find any such horror here. Keep away ghoulish creeps.

Rest in peace Addie, hon. If that's possible. Your boyfriend was a gen-u-ine freak, so he can rot in hell. But I bet you'd heard that before, n'est pas?

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

No Shiney Happy Workers At Florida Wal-Mart

"If something affects my brothers and sisters, it affects me." Yahima Morales, Wal-Mart Dept. Manager

I was all excited about the Howell Mill Station Wal-Mart grand opening today, and was getting ready to head over there to drop a load of cash for a load of things I'd convince myself I had to have to run my household more efficiently.

But per the routine, I first dropped by the computer to read-in on the day, and was sickened by the BusinessWeek tale told by workers at a Florida Wal-Mart as they walked-off the job two days ago.

Here's the rub part from reporter Pallavi Gogoi at BusyWeek online:

The protest wasn't led by any union group. Rather, it was instigated by two department managers, Guillermo Vasquez and Rosie Larosa. The department managers were not affected directly by the changes, but they felt that the company had gone too far with certain new policies. Among them were moves to cut the hours of full-time employees from 40 hours a week to 32 hours, along with a corresponding cut in wages, and to compel workers to be available for shifts around the clock.

In addition, the shifts would be decided not by managers, but by a computer at company headquarters. Employees could find themselves working 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. one week and noon to 9 p.m. the next. "So workers cannot pick up their children after school everyday, and part-timers cannot keep another job because they can be called to work anytime," says Vasquez.

As my time nor my money nor my life, thank God, is decided by a computer program, think I'll just unload my money at Target. Or since I really don't need any more stuff right this moment, I might send the money to these folks in Florida.

GUERILLA MEDIA TIP OF THE DAY: If you want to get on local news tonight, which isn't hard to do, but isn't my style (that's too often the tacky behavior used by book banners in Gwinnett County), you could simply make a sign right now that says something like "Send your Grand Opening money to Guillermo Vasquez and Rosie Larosa in Florida," walk over to where all the press will be today at the Howell Mill Rd. Wal-Mart, and just sit there on the sidewalk. Of course, anyone is welcome to this free speech/photo op. Around 11:45am or about 4:45pm is a good time for the locals. Or stay until about 6pm if the nets are there! Bonus tip: have copies of the BusinessWeek article to hand-out to interested people.

Or how about this for your signage: For All You've Done, or Not Done, This Week Alone! Shame, Wal-Mart, Shame.

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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Good PR Firm, Good

At my request in a blog comment today, Edelman did remove my editorial from the Georgia Families For Wal-Mart site. At once. Edelman hizseff contacted me by email to honor my request. I really appreciate this responsiveness on their part, and I told 'em that they were free to put the article back on the site, if it (their site) suddenly became "more transparent."

This is the power of the blogosphere, folks. YOU now own media. You, the individual, don't you see? And all before lunch! Now everybody... shut-up and shop!

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Bad PR Firm, Bad

Edleman, the massive PR agency with clients like, oh say... Wal-Mart, the second (?) largest corporation in the history of capitalism, has admitted, finally, to their ethically dubious behavior. In a nutshell, and you can click yourself into a mia culpa frenzy reading all about it on your own time, Edelman created phoney sites and blogs and world f-ing tours and a host of other $$$-generated smoke and mirrors for their bestest client, Wal-Mart.

Seemed the smarties in the blogosphere, as opposed to the general public, weren't too confused for too long. (I mean...duh... what were they thinking? That people would seriously believe there was a genuine, grassroots, pro-Wal-Mart effort afoot in the land? Do we LOOK stupid here in the blogosphere?!) And guess what, folks got pissed and called 'em out. Imagine that.

I, too, got caught-up in the whole fake Wal-Mart PR campaign, a practice refered to as "astroturfing," when my editorial for The Georgia Political Digest ended-up on the Georgia Families For Wal-Mart site. It's still there. I asked Edelman today to remove the editorial until the whole campaign/site is made more transparent. (UPDATE as of 12:05pm EDT: they did.)

I stand-by my editorial direction in the article. I like Wal-Mart, and plan to shop there when the new intown store opens tomorrow in my 'hood. (Shit, I'm a single working mom; we're programmed to love Wal-Mart due to our historically slim budgets alone.) I just don't like being used on a highly un-transparent site.

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Monday, October 16, 2006

I Am Woman See Me Knock Over A Light

After nearly 20 years in production, this was my first all-women shoot, outside of TrueGritz. This one, with me as DP, was for Gorgeous Ladies of Comedy. Didn't make a dime, but I felt like I'd finally reached the top of a really steep mountain. Trust me, the view is beautiful here!

It's All Mainstream Now, Baby Blue

Just take your stupid tee shirt and back quietly out of the room.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

We've Heard Enough Now Shut-Up

I need to take a smallish blog-break this week to:

a.) build a fallout shelter
b.) actually work

Gotta crank-out a real video for a real client real quick, so no real blogging until Friday.

I do have a bit of real information for you though, in that I had an e-mail exchange with Dana Tofig, Director of Communications for the Georgia Department of Education, about the status of that case belonging only to the personal, religious crusade of that hideous, Umbridge-like woman, Laura Mallory -- the hapless hag who wants to rid Gwinnett County of imaginary menaces from the Harry Potter books. And forceably detach, one must assume, our children from their beloved characters, as well as their own imaginations.

Tofig had this to say about the status of the book-banning case we wish was just a bad dream:

Mr. Buckland (a hearing officer for the state who recently heard an appeal) will not make a recommendation publicly and there will not be a public hearing. The (state education) board's decision, expected in December, will be posted on the internet at http://www.gadoe.org/. This is how appeal hearings are handled in every case.

This case will be handled like any other. State law allows this mother the right to be heard and the case will be decided on the merits of state school law and board rule and nothing else.

Decisions are made behind closed doors only? And all results are posted only on the Internet? Hmmm... I'm sure that Misguided Mallory will be more than happy to oblige the press when the decision does get "posted" wherever.

Let's hope, for this Communication Director's sake alone, that rational minds will prevail, in private or otherwise. Should something ludicrously drastic happen to the sensibilities of state board members and the Harry Potter books are taken away, we in Georgia will rival only North Korea for seismic activity, only any vibrations felt 'round the world from these parts will be generated by global levels of laughter and scorn heaped upon us Southerners for our backwardsass ways - again.

Friday, October 06, 2006

The Atlantic Station Verses

The great writer, Salman Rushdie, is to be writer-in-residence at Emory -- for brief spells only. Still, this has Literati Disaster written all over it, given that Rushdie's bound to be overwhelmed with babbling Buckhead socialites inviting him over to their overwraught McMansions for a martini or two. And we all know that the only book ever read by any Buckhead Betty would be a cookbook by overweight, overwraught Pat Conroy.

Speaking of overweight and overwraught, raise a glass to the king of elitist, name-dropper prose when you hit the bar for happy hour tonight. The NYT master, R.W. Apple, died Wednesday. (Apple's on the left.)

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Healthcare In America SUCKS

So many people fly under the health insurance radar, especially musicians, writers and artists, as they are moreorless self-employed. So when something serious happens, as it has to Athens musician Wendy Musick, then the uninsured are forced way-up the harrowing creek of ludicrously exploded healthcare costs in this country.

Fortunately for Ms. Musick, she has some great friends, and they've organized a series of cool events to help raise money for her surgery... which is likely occuring right about now. Below is event info. The fun and fundraising begin tonight at the 40 Watt Club, the place where Wendy was a sound engineer for many years.

So road-trip it on over to Athens, enjoy yourself, then come on home and support legislation to reform our totally off-the-wheels healthcare "system." Folks, if Newt Gingrich and Hillary Clinton can get together to work for better healthcare legislation, then so can we!

MUSICK FEST BENEFIT, is a 2 night music event and 3 week art show ending in an art auction to raise money for local uninsured musician, Wendy Musick. Wendy currently plays in Southern Bitch, Kimberly Morgan and the Everlovin' Band.

Schedule of Events: Thurs., Oct. 5th, 40 Watt, $15, doors 8pm
Clay Leverett (Lona, Now It's Overhead)
Dave Marr
David Barbe & the Quick Hooks
Will Johnson (Centro-matic, South San Gabriel)
Don Chambers & GOAT
Patterson Hood & the Screwtopians

Fri., Oct. 6th, Nuci's Space, $10, doors 7pm
Still Small Voice and the Joyfull Noise
Betsy Franck
Kimberly Morgan
Diet Rockstar
Mother Jackson
Patterson Hood

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Horcrux This Hag

Umbridge Lives!!!! Umbridge Lives!!! Right here in metro Atlanta!!! Run for your lives children, 'cause book-banner Laura Mallory is coming for you and your own good judgement and imagination.

I bet this publicity-crazed Mallory hag would burn I Will Only Read The Bible (non King James version) into the back of my hand (and all my friends too), just as Umbridge burned her wicked rhetoric onto Harry (in Book Five for you non-readers), as fast as you can mutter Detention With Delores.

If Mad Mallory would shut-up with her idiot-babble, thinly veiled as her Fundamentalist agenda, for two seconds and read the damn books, she might recognize her insidious behavior in many of the most evil characters and knock it off.

Some HP characters and their accompanying personality afflictions who spring to mind when I read about Mad Mallory are: Umbridge of course, a huge dose of Dursley, a flicker of Filch and a lashing of Bellatrix Lestrange.

Guard your minds, kiddies, against The Ministry of (Your) Mind Control and their wannabee High Inquisitor like this stupid, stupid Mallory woman. Fiction has become reality I'm afraid.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

You CAN Do Something

Especially you blogging parents and taxpayers. Jeff Jarvis is calling for a citizen journalism effort - RIGHT NOW. Says Jarvis today:

I would be eager to see hundreds of thousands of us contact our school districts today to find out the state of their security, in light of the latest rash of tragic murders in schools across the country.

Jarvis asks that when you get responses to the questions below (by emailing them to your school district), to then post the answers to your own blog and tag them schoolsecurity so that all blog posts show-up under the Technorati tag, schoolsecurity.

An explaination of what good this might do for our country's children is here. Questions are as follows. Copy and paste and email to your school or school district. Add your own q's too.

* Are all doors at all schools locked at all times? If not, what are the exceptions? How are the doors monitored?

* Are there security cameras in the schools? If so, how many? And if so, where and by whom are the monitored?

* How often are staff, faculty, and students trained in emergency procedures?

* Is there onsite security in the schools?

* If, God forbid, there were a threat within a school, what should we as parents expect to happen?

Well, get emailing! There's power in numbers.


N. Georgia State Fair

Below, a tree preps:

Above, the TrueGritz State Fair field production team. Got 'r done!

And one mystery dude below,
who appears to know something we don't.

Monday, October 02, 2006

To The Batmobile, Robin

Holy TypePad Batman!!! This road trip thing is catching fire! We gotta get the hell outta here!!! BLOG SPOT SPLAT TYPE TAPE UPLOAD KAPOWEEE!!!!!!!!

Narcissistic Graffiti begins the send-up of Amanda Across America it has coming to it. Hold on to your BatCams!!!