Friday, October 06, 2006

The Atlantic Station Verses

The great writer, Salman Rushdie, is to be writer-in-residence at Emory -- for brief spells only. Still, this has Literati Disaster written all over it, given that Rushdie's bound to be overwhelmed with babbling Buckhead socialites inviting him over to their overwraught McMansions for a martini or two. And we all know that the only book ever read by any Buckhead Betty would be a cookbook by overweight, overwraught Pat Conroy.

Speaking of overweight and overwraught, raise a glass to the king of elitist, name-dropper prose when you hit the bar for happy hour tonight. The NYT master, R.W. Apple, died Wednesday. (Apple's on the left.)






Thursday, October 05, 2006

Healthcare In America SUCKS

So many people fly under the health insurance radar, especially musicians, writers and artists, as they are moreorless self-employed. So when something serious happens, as it has to Athens musician Wendy Musick, then the uninsured are forced way-up the harrowing creek of ludicrously exploded healthcare costs in this country.

Fortunately for Ms. Musick, she has some great friends, and they've organized a series of cool events to help raise money for her surgery... which is likely occuring right about now. Below is event info. The fun and fundraising begin tonight at the 40 Watt Club, the place where Wendy was a sound engineer for many years.

So road-trip it on over to Athens, enjoy yourself, then come on home and support legislation to reform our totally off-the-wheels healthcare "system." Folks, if Newt Gingrich and Hillary Clinton can get together to work for better healthcare legislation, then so can we!

MUSICK FEST BENEFIT, is a 2 night music event and 3 week art show ending in an art auction to raise money for local uninsured musician, Wendy Musick. Wendy currently plays in Southern Bitch, Kimberly Morgan and the Everlovin' Band.

Schedule of Events: Thurs., Oct. 5th, 40 Watt, $15, doors 8pm
Clay Leverett (Lona, Now It's Overhead)
Dave Marr
David Barbe & the Quick Hooks
Will Johnson (Centro-matic, South San Gabriel)
Don Chambers & GOAT
Patterson Hood & the Screwtopians

Fri., Oct. 6th, Nuci's Space, $10, doors 7pm
Still Small Voice and the Joyfull Noise
Betsy Franck
Kimberly Morgan
Diet Rockstar
Mother Jackson
Patterson Hood

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Horcrux This Hag

Umbridge Lives!!!! Umbridge Lives!!! Right here in metro Atlanta!!! Run for your lives children, 'cause book-banner Laura Mallory is coming for you and your own good judgement and imagination.

I bet this publicity-crazed Mallory hag would burn I Will Only Read The Bible (non King James version) into the back of my hand (and all my friends too), just as Umbridge burned her wicked rhetoric onto Harry (in Book Five for you non-readers), as fast as you can mutter Detention With Delores.

If Mad Mallory would shut-up with her idiot-babble, thinly veiled as her Fundamentalist agenda, for two seconds and read the damn books, she might recognize her insidious behavior in many of the most evil characters and knock it off.

Some HP characters and their accompanying personality afflictions who spring to mind when I read about Mad Mallory are: Umbridge of course, a huge dose of Dursley, a flicker of Filch and a lashing of Bellatrix Lestrange.

Guard your minds, kiddies, against The Ministry of (Your) Mind Control and their wannabee High Inquisitor like this stupid, stupid Mallory woman. Fiction has become reality I'm afraid.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

You CAN Do Something

Especially you blogging parents and taxpayers. Jeff Jarvis is calling for a citizen journalism effort - RIGHT NOW. Says Jarvis today:

I would be eager to see hundreds of thousands of us contact our school districts today to find out the state of their security, in light of the latest rash of tragic murders in schools across the country.

Jarvis asks that when you get responses to the questions below (by emailing them to your school district), to then post the answers to your own blog and tag them schoolsecurity so that all blog posts show-up under the Technorati tag, schoolsecurity.

An explaination of what good this might do for our country's children is here. Questions are as follows. Copy and paste and email to your school or school district. Add your own q's too.

* Are all doors at all schools locked at all times? If not, what are the exceptions? How are the doors monitored?

* Are there security cameras in the schools? If so, how many? And if so, where and by whom are the monitored?

* How often are staff, faculty, and students trained in emergency procedures?

* Is there onsite security in the schools?

* If, God forbid, there were a threat within a school, what should we as parents expect to happen?

Well, get emailing! There's power in numbers.

tag:

N. Georgia State Fair




Below, a tree preps:


Above, the TrueGritz State Fair field production team. Got 'r done!


And one mystery dude below,
who appears to know something we don't.

Monday, October 02, 2006

To The Batmobile, Robin

Holy TypePad Batman!!! This road trip thing is catching fire! We gotta get the hell outta here!!! BLOG SPOT SPLAT TYPE TAPE UPLOAD KAPOWEEE!!!!!!!!

Narcissistic Graffiti begins the send-up of Amanda Across America it has coming to it. Hold on to your BatCams!!!

Friday, September 29, 2006

The Altar of Simplicity

How will the angels hear us now? Seems Southerners are making a less joyful noise unto the Lord. With some interesting gnashing of teeth and observations, Gainesville Times columnist, Rhonda Rich, laments how we are fast losing the lyrical beauty of our unique, southern speech. And Ms. Rich places the blame right on the bland, dumbed-down heads of our megachurch-going populace.

From today's Gainesville Times.com:
What has happened here is that the Bible Belt is no longer reading the King James version of the Bible. It, with its difficulty in language, has been traded in by the majority of Southerners for simpler translations that tell stories straight out by using today's contemporary language.

These versions are bland, uninteresting but completely understandable. By moving en mass to plainer versions of the Bible, we have sacrificed our gorgeous language, laying it, without thought or concern, at the altar of simplicity.

Ms. Rich's excellent column in full here.

I'd say language erosion is not just a southern phenomenon, and that cultural homogenization via mass media has been a more significant contributing factor than the loss of the very confounding King James Bible. Social media technologies will no doubt finish-off the victim too, given that most folks under 30 don't even bother to create complex language structure at all; rather, they furiously scratch-out acronyms, symbolic grunts and grins, and rude hand gestures via text messaging. Maybe we're de-evolving back to sign language?

Then again, when I blog, even though I try to keep it as "real" as possible, I often experiment in placing interesting words in just the appropriate places, words I'd never have a chance of utilizing in everyday interaction. Blogging offers a linguistically intriguing medium, should one care to use it that way. It's a shame so many of the most popular blogs are written by technology-motivated non-writers who lack the slightest flicker of poetic sensibility, let alone basic social skills. But that's another topic altogether.

Working with words is one of the reasons I bother to blog at all. And notice the use of language on The Colbert Report, how he plays with interesting words and unusual, chiefly snarky, interpretations in The Word segment. Perhaps mass media shouldn't be written off entirely. Just rethought. After we have, of course, stormed the Media Bastille.

Still, blaming Southern Baptists and the mega-church suburbanista crowd for all our cultural woes is always a ton of fun. Let's not give it up just yet! But if you're missing religious grandiosity in your life, as well as the King James version, I suggest you get to know the Episcopal Church service and its gorgeous, ceremonious, liturgical comforts - timelessly reassuring with a full display of the traditional grandeur of the high church, uh, performance.

I know that after a really hard, hideous week in the often pointless and culturally barren urban minefields of a relentless ATL, when I walk into an All Saints' service, where majestic voices from that stunning choir and the pipes of the blaring organ literally crash into me at first note, a power-ridden divine beauty radiates from the red and gold vaults and instantly drives doubt and despair away, renewing my psyche, my actual body, with something far more substantial.

Simplicity has its place, but should never be given a cultural credit it has not earned and does not deserve.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Around The Bend

ADD ON: Rusty and Amber, co-creators of the Georgia Podcast Network, just won a Creative Loafing "Best of Atlanta" award. A million congratulations to you guys!! Air kisses all around. And lots of bubbly too, when we can share. (Can you sneak me in to the "Best Of" party?) Just goes to show that innovation, creativity, hard-ass work, long hours and self-belief/preservation always win out.

This is the entry where I'd apologize for yesterday's outburst over Amanda Congdon's un-inspired sellout. But since I'm not the least bit sorry, I'll move on.

In a sec... it's just that I had such high hopes for Ms. Amanda. She had this Mary Tyler Moore, kinda zany, kinda wacky, kinda cute and sweet, and always very bright and smart quality. Still does. But even a pro like Jeff Jarvis couldn't help being taken aback when he saw that hybrid car she was "tripping" about in. The camera told all.

Meanwhile, back at Rancho ATL, the state fair's going on, so I gotta go just to get Sas one of these, with a unicorn of course. See below.

Lordy, I'd say I'm pre-menopausal as I've been emotionally so all over the place this morning. But since I've got the Hemi version of a reproductive system, that's not the case. Must be just pure, natural moodiness. I've gone from laughing my ass off at Tania's and Jen's multi-media antics to crying, again, over one of TR's poems. She's just that good. I'm such a girl. Thank God.


This entry put together by Lee Ann Womack's: There's More Where That Came From.
When You Get To Me

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Hell

Isn't it adorable when the MySpace gen discovers "the road trip?" Fucking precious. Now paid for and sponsored by hybrid cars and Ford and environmental groups and other STUPID FUCKIN' CORPORATE SHIT!!! (Click image below) AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Wake me up when the major pharmaceuticals start throwing money on me to travel with their products, 'cause I'm taking to my bed now with the blackest, goth despair only an eighties party gal, once brilliantly capable of conjuring-up beautiful, pure, homegrown, totally organic party times on her own, can wallow in.

Dear God, just let me sleep until this "social media" nightmare is over. One bit of advice before I turn out the light though... Amanda hon, never roll with the top down.

He'd Have Been A Good Man...

"... if he'd had a bad rocker to bash him in the head every day."

Since a couple of you have enquired into the matter, let me direct you to the blog thread from over a year ago in which someone (I'll never tell) posted the "Tony Paris is buried in the Kremlin" comment. Many choice eighties-Atlanta references lie within, if you're over 38 and still alive.

In a devilish new twist, the plot of the Fox TV show, Vanished, set in Atlanta and on Monday nights at 9pm, hints of a romp through the "Atlanta underground music scene." Such a story line should make for intense TV -- how about that wanker redneck drummer from Duluth who once did blow with Ashley Smith lounging about on your East Atlanta Ikea couch for three weeks instead of the one week it promised in the first place? Now that would be frightening.

It's a shame the show does not incorporate the truly evil and horrid realities of Atlanta's much more infamous and always-flourishing sex trade business instead. That could indeed scare someone.

While bad TV, Vanished does make for an excellent drinking game. For instance, you can drink every time they botch an Atlanta reference. Something along the lines of I-20 going through Stone Mountain. You'll be crocked by 9:15, if you can make it through the laughable, very unsouthern-esque acting for that long.

One other note, wanna hear something real pretty? Check out the song on Caroline Monroe's MySpace. Just as lovely as it can be. We were delighted to have her on TrueGritz twice. Caroline's surely a star in the making.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Klassic Kyra

For all you on the Raging Bimbo Vomit Spotting beat, let me direct your attention to Wonkette's latest entry regarding Kyra Phillips of CNN, a woman still set loose for a cookie-toss on our TV screens every day. Be sure to click-on the Wonkette "Kyra Phillips" tag to scroll a treasure trove of Ms. Phillips' media droppings.

I suppose Ana Marie Cox isn't contributing at all to Wonkette these days. Sigh... since she signed some biggie contract -- with AOL, right? I can only aspire to write one entry as snarky-delicious as that gal, my hero, Ms. Cox.

Then again, I've always got yet another homegrown dipshit, Caren West from the soooo not link-worthy Sunday Paper, to kick around, as I had a mind to do just last week. I might just get there yet with such material to work with. Keep it coming, ladies.

Wade Through This

I wrote my U.S. Representative, John Lewis (D), a letter (ok... I took the time at least to send an original email) asking that he support net neutrality regulation and/or net neutrality legislation. Or maybe he could write-up some good kind himself. Heck, at the very least, just please not be led into temptation by hometown lobbyists from massive Atlanta-based telcos. I can't really make heads or tails out of this politico-speak response. Can anyone please offer me your interpretation? Thank you.

Dear Ms. Daughters (Hey, they pasted in the correct name!):

Thank you very much for taking the time to write me with your concerns about the future of information flow on the Internet. I appreciate hearing from you and having the benefit of your views.

As you may know, some Internet service providers (ISP's) have made public comments about plans to develop a tiered system that would give a larger bandwidth to preferred websites. There have also been reports that some ISP's have restricted access to certain websites to prevent their customers from accessing and using these websites. To pre-empt these plans, a coalition of software and high-technology firms such as Amazon,com, Yahoo, Disney, and Microsoft, sent a letter to the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) urging it to "assure that consumers and other Internet users continue to enjoy the unfettered ability to reach lawful content and services." This issue will become a key factor as the debate over the rewriting of the
telecommunications law proceeds.

A major Internet service provider in Georgia recently informed my staff of its plans as it increases its bandwidth. They told my staff that they "will not block or interfere with customers' access to lawful content or applications over the Internet" and have "no intention of unilaterally imposing fees on any Internet company."

(Tricky part is bolded by me, SG.) It does have plans to offer tiered service that will provide additional bandwidth to guarantee some services to customers and offer greater speeds to paying Internet companies. The provider says that a tiered service will reduce costs to consumers by offering greater service variations. (NOTE FROM SG: I assume the "major Internet service provider" mentioned is BellSouth?)

As Congress continues its debate over how to write the new telecommunications law, I will work to ensure that the Internet remains free of predatory efforts to restrict access to the tools that consumers have come to expect. The FCC has declared that Americans are entitled to: access Internet content of their choice, run online applications and services of their choice, connect their choice of devices, and have fair competition among network, application, service and content providers. While these principles will guide FCC policymaking, they do not carry any enforcement power. I believe that the new law should reflect and encourage these principles. (This is a good thing, right? Then again, we are talking about giving mo' power to the FCC - always a scary thought. This is where things get really tricky.)

Thank you again for sharing your views with me about this important issue. I hope that you will continue to contact me with issues that are important to you. Also, please visit my web site at http://www.house.gov/johnlewis for more information on legislation that interests you.

Sincerely,
John Lewis
Member of Congress

Chris Wallace Smirks? Imagine That

Former Prez Bill finally had enough outta Fox News. Wipes smirk off of Chris Wallace's face. Oh don't we wish! What a little toady Wallace is. Graffitti in an ABC News stairwell, and this is true, once said, "Chris Wallace smiled here." That still makes me chortle.

Go get 'em Bill. Kick some neocon lapdog ass, like you know you (only you apparently) can do.

From some news source:
He (Clinton) told Wallace, "And you got that little smirk on your face and you think you're so clever, but I had responsibility for trying to protect this country. I tried and I failed to get bin Laden. I regret it, but I did try and I did everything I thought I responsibly could."

ConvergeSouth

Attention all Atlanta bloggeratti, or however you'd spell that word: CovergeSouth is coming up soon. All Atlanta Media Bloggers on the Atlanta Social Media Conference committee should plan to be there Oct. 13-14.

It would be most great to have a strong Atlanta contingent in Greensboro for the conference. We need to go in laptops a'blazing. Several folks, including myself, are already registered. Sure hope to pow-wow at ConvergeSouth with our tribe and others. Register here.

Note Andrew Baron's (Rocketboom) blog entry about what videoblogging is doing to the Technorati rankings... as in sweeping 'em.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Holidays Are Just Around The Corner

If you're Jewish, they're here. It's probably not cool to say "Happy New Year" or "Happy Rosh Hashana" (I wouldn't know as I'm not Jewish), but in cool holiday news, a Nashville high school played their usual Friday night football game last night (Thursday night) instead of tonight to respect the Jewish high holy days kick-off, Rosh Hashanah, which begins at sundown today. The WKRN video story here.

The Nashville coach said that by playing Thursday night and not tonight, he had the opportunity to teach the team, by example, respect and tolerance; and that such a gesture was simply the "gentlemanly" thing to do. It's good to see the best of southern culture flourishing in such a way.

Housekeeping item #1: Longtime Atlanta writer and one-man Chamber of Commerce, Doug Monroe, has an Atlanta gov and politics blog over at Atlanta Magazine now. This is kinda a shame as he's now tied to their (yawn -- theirs not his) editorial apron strings, and that defeats the whole purpose of blogging, n'est ce pas? If there was ever a word-dog who should be let off the leash, it's The Big DM - a very wicked, very funny, very talented dude. Let's just hope Ms. Burns lets him have his way around there. Don't miss the radio (WLYO - Lyons) politico-smackdown fest entry, though.

Housekeeping item #2: Second Life fashions are in the WSJ today, featuring a quote from pal Cath!

Also... please send feedback on whether I should turn this blog into a daily vidcast, something along the lines of that guy, who's name I can't remember, nor his site, who does the close-up rant thing? Of course, mine would be all lovely moonlight and magnolias. Sure hon...

Since Christmas is truly just right around the corner, here's a truly great gift idea for the snark-happy Colbert fan on your list. Start stitching now so it'll be ready by Dec. Click image for kit ordering info.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Only Married In The Village

A gay writer pal, Tim (now in Chicago; I miss you Tim, even if I never did make it to your infamous parties) brings up rather uncomfortable stories and scenarios, all leading up to the question of why in the world would gays ever want to get married? As he says, they deserve better.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Atlanta Media Bloggers meets tonight. Prof. Witt will speak, or lead the banter I should say.

Where: Arm Chair Media, 950 Joseph E. Lowery Blvd
When: Thursday, September 21, 7:00 pm
Directions here.















Now, sit back and enjoy Ninet, the "Jewish Kelly Clarkson." Ava will sooo love this! Shoutout to Allison in Israel for sharing.



Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Sonny Got Laid?

Once again, Georgia politicians have made us the national laughingstock. Honestly, I don't know whether to laugh or cry the (original) ad was so bad.

Feminists Line Up To Blow Ted

Awww shucks. And I just wanted to be a damn good blogger. But now, we might get to rule the world! Sure, I'd do Ted -- for this priceless gem alone:
Men should be barred from public office for 100 years in every part of the world. ... It would be a much kinder, gentler, more intelligently run world. The men have had millions of years where we've been running things. We've screwed it up hopelessly. Let's give it to the women.

Full mouthiness here.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Peach Perfect


Sometimes the gods do smile on us. Not often, but when they do you recognize the divine intervention because you're dancing to it. Last night I danced to a live, Bill Berry-powered R.E.M., next to friend Cheryl and a happy Dallas Austin, who rocked out to "Losing My Religion" with all the zest of a true fan, let alone joyful inductee, at the 28th Annual Georgia Music Hall of Fame Awards. Then as Gregg Allman sang our state song, "Georgia On My Mind," Max Cleland patted my shoulder.

This was one for storing-up memories for the longhaul as the evening carried on 'til the wee hours with a champagne-ridden note of pure happy giddiness, ending right back in the one place I've always wanted to be.

And look, I even dredged up Tony Paris from the Kremlin!


Pics below courtesy of Tom Roche, Crawford Communications.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Timrod and Nimrod

Yowzer. I got a little panicky when I overheard something on Weekend Edition this morning about Bob Dylan "borrowing" from a Civil War-era poet on his latest album. (Doesn't Dylan "borrow" on every record he puts out? But that's neither here nor there.)

That kinda info, emanating vaguely in the background of the kitchen while whipping-up a Saturday morning omelet and pouring the coffee, was momentarily startling since my namesake is the Civil War-era poet, William John Grayson, an ancestor, lawyer, writer and Representative from South Carolina.

The poet of whom Dylan is rumored to reek is Grayson's contemporary and fellow South Carolinian, the tubercular nursery-room tutor, Henry Timrod, often cited as the "poet laureate of the Confederacy."

And that's a good thing as no one I'm aware of, including any of my immediate family, has ever been inspired by a single line of 'ole W. J.'s poetry. For good reasons, as Grayson's poems surely fall into the "had to have been there" category of Civil War poetry making. Rather, throughout the generations, we've about worn out the name.

An excerpt from Grayson's The Hireling and The Slave is here.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Acting Politically

Is Sean Penn the worst actor in America because of his face? Or is he the worst actor because of that contrived explosive-emoting thing he does over and over?

Is Sean Penn the worst lefty-spokesperson because of his face? Or is he the worst lefty-spokesperson because of the contrived explosive-emoting thing he does over and over?

Not only does Penn look like a greasy angry troll, he behaves like one too, reminding the world that his last moment of genuine expressiveness came in 1982 while acting the part of a stoner.

I tried to watch Sean Penn on Larry King last night as he snorted and snarled and grunted his way through a litany of personal efforts and alleged global compassions on the part of oppressed people everywhere, but by the time he got to pushing his unattractive way through Iran, I had to shut the whole painful process down.

There was simply never a flicker, not one moment, of humanity in the dude's face. Penn’s contorted, Rumpelstiltskin-like visage betrayed not a moment of genuine compassion or concern for whatever he was spitting and snapping about. He seemed an ugly, affected bundle of scorn and contempt for not only the current administration, but for life in general.

The face is where human beings wear their humanity, should we be inclined to have some. Thank goodness then that Ugly Penn was followed by George Clooney's quietly urgent and considerate comments to the U.N. and to John Roberts of CNN (no longer CBS) on behalf of the crisis in Darfur.

Now there’s a face that can radiate the beauty and depth of a man's convictions and concerns. There is a genuine quality of honesty in Clooney's eyes. No doubt there is a small chance that I am dulled and dazzled by Clooney’s sheer physical beauty, by that classic timelessness he radiates with the rugged tan, glossy black hair and proper suit, but it's pretty damn hard to fake genuine compassion. Then again, he gets paid the ludicrous bucks to do just that - to act. (All this remind you of anyone? Hint hint. As in a former White House res/pres???)

The problem with celebrity causes is that they're so extreme they give the impression that one must have Hollywood-levels of resources to even get on the helpful-radar. Do you need Gulfstreams full of cash and influence to do anything about Darfur? The horror in Sudan seems oblivious to money and influence. Indeed, it seems oblivious to George Clooney. Who are the people who can really "do something," and does the average American even factor into the assistance equation?

I think Clooney, by appearing before the U.N., is telling us that the U.N. can do something. In fact, he said, "If not the U.N., then who?" But what about the audience watching at home? What about the celebrity spokesperson's fans, the people who might want to actually do something to help? What is it that these celebrities are trying to tell them when they appear on TV?

Honestly, I don't have a clue. Once you rally the troops, what do you do then? A few email addresses or wwws could be a start. Or maybe they left that part on the edit room floor.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Big Media Dreaming, On Such A Yucky Day

I enjoyed writing this comment on John Sugg's blog so much that I'll just turn it into an open letter right here!

I have a Big Media dream... a dream that Atlanta media, alt and otherwise, will one day be free of the bonds of the fatuous, white male pomposity and uselessness that currently bind our local radio, TV and print to the wheel of cultural irrelevance as it continues to pass dull, relentless, tired 'ole opinionista babble off as some kinda fresh journalistic leadership.

Thank you Jesus, for most of us weary longtimers now have the power to tune-out the tired 'ole likes of Sugg and Shipp and Williams and Lindsay/Clark and Edelstein and Bookman and Wooten and Boortz, and move on to other perspectives via new media and mediums.

Your thought leadership is now hollering only in the vacuums of boring insignificance you've talked and written yourselves right into.

I gotta go pour another cup of coffee and power-up the iMovie.

Oh, one other thing... I'll toss Lois Reitzes in to the above pit 'o names to give you boys something to play with. Then again, you wouldn't know what to do with her. She doesn't crank-out silly trash-copy about sex and girlie-gay stuff; she just plays really hideous music on our public airwaves for 6 agonizing hours a day.

AAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH

Little Black Cloud In A Dress

Diana had to have it all -- she desired our facilities and institutions, and pined, to her butler, to be our First Lady, chiefly just to give the finger to her ex-in-law QE2 on returning state visits to Buckingham Palace.

Whew... could that gal work herself into a vengeful, wacko frenzy or what?! Still, Di as First Lady could have been dazzling, and buying her way in with a wealthy husband was one of her more reasonable ideas, given our pay-to-play system of government.

Diana as First Lady would sure have beat having the First Zombie we do now. What an utter dud Laura Bush has turned out to be. I guess I'd have to be drugged-up on anti-depressants, as she often appears to be, if I was married to this Chief Dim-Wit, too.

With her fixation on Pakistan and that handsome Pakistani doc, Diana could have been their sovereign; then she might have helped patrol the ludicrously porous border with Afghanistan. Now there's a job for a good, psycho princess.

Of course when one ponders the shitheap that is Afghanistan, one can't help but draw the obvious parallel to the ellusive adventures of that other cute terrorist, Eric Rudolf, running loose through the tangle of our wild, southern mountain ranges for five freakin' years. Rudolf wasn't toting a new media production facility along with him, though. Traveled solo, traveled light. Still, the Feds caught his sorry ass in the long, millions and millions later, run.

I am a little concerned for Anderson Cooper's safety over there chasing Osama. He sure likes to stand real close to those howitzers. One of those military menz is gonna get real pissed with the cutie pie in the fake fatigues getting too close to his biz and fire that thing right into AC's adorable ass.

This post put together by The Shins' Chutes Too Narrow.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Who Yo Enemy Be, Bitch?

Martin Amis, Literary White Jesus of Britain, lays it all out here for you. You need read no further than his longwinded (for good reasons) treatise on the Islamacists. Only Martin Amis should be allowed more than 150 online words. He's the only person who can write this kinda dope.

Also, yesterday's post was cleaned-up for public consumption here.

One other thing and I'll let you go... TrueGritz is rumored to be back in the biz sometime today. 'Bout time too. Talk about some lazy-ass white hoes.

Monday, September 11, 2006

We're Not Afraid

No, I was not afraid during the terrorist attacks of 9/11. I was angry -- angry with a white hot fury I'd never felt inside of me, and I haven't felt since. I wanted to seek immediate revenge. I wanted bombs and guns and lawyers and lots of money to go and get the people who were killing us. I wished at the time I was a member of the military, with a license to kill our enemy - whoever the f that was at the time. I wanted to DO something. Anything. I wanted an F-16 in particular.

Instead, I sat in my Home Depot headquarters cubicle here in Atlanta, on the phone with my brother, Chris, who had walked past the twin towers just minutes before the attacks, as he did every workday morning on his way to his Wall Street office. I stayed on the phone with him as the North Tower collapsed. I could hear Chris' building shaking and rumbling over the phone. And then the line went dead.

I had no idea what was going on at the time, other than what was on CNN, which I'm watching the replay of now, no clue about what had happened to Chris. I wouldn't know for another two hours or so.

After the phone connection failed, Chris fled with the crowds and the smoke thru Lower Manhattan and made his way, slowly, up towards Midtown where his wife Jane's office was located. Jane and I emailed back and forth, frantically, until Chris was able to place a cell phone call letting her know he was alive and headed her way on foot. I thought periodically of how Chris had loved to photograph the twin towers from all sorts of intriquing angles.

I was wiped-out with relief at that point, and moreorless in a state of stunned disbelief for what seemed like weeks afterwards. I vaguely remember picking Ava up at daycare by early afternoon on 9/11, but I have no recall of the hours afterwards. I assume I just sat in front of ABC and CNN for hours on end. I remember Peter Jennings and his cool, calm smoothness throughout it all. I remember Mayor Giuliani emerging through the media as a strong, intelligent, reassuring, competent leader. I have no memory or sense of George Bush assuming any kind of credible leadership role - ever.

I've visited NYC several times since. The first time after 9/11, I looked back across the Hudson River on my way out of town over to New Jersey to absorb the Manhattan skyline. The sensation of the newly-transformed skyline was strange and sobering and disconcerting without the WTCs rising up at the end. A few trips later, through the passing years, and I no longer expect to see the towers when I gaze the powerful skyline.

My anger flares momentarily from time to time, but ultimately I am not afraid of terrorism or these goddamn terrorists. After all, we are Americans, and we will fight them to the end.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Went To Rome

Rome, Georgia that is. About an hour and a half north of Atlanta for the Rome International Film Festival. Found indie filmakers roaming loose in the streets:


While in Rome, I saw a lefty documentary, a grownup ham, enjoyed good company, delicious appetizers, and a coupla really nice cosmos. The doc viewed was Sacco and Vinzetti, a film co-produced and (online) edited by friend Tom Roche. It was very nicely put together, given Tom's long, hard work on cleaning-up the historical footage. The film hit the audience over the head with the obvious (contemporary political implications) only briefly. Chiefly, Sacco and Vinzetti was made compelling via (likely) never-before-seen historical footage of huge rallys across the U.S. (other than the South of course) in support of the doomed immigrant duo.

The ham was the woman who played the beloved Scout in To Kill A Mockingbird. (She always enters my mind as the ham rescued by Boo Radley/Robert Duvall.)

Mary Badham (her real name unfortunately) is all grown-up now with kids of her own, and making a career of fielding questions at film festivals it seems. After a screening of her classic movie Saturday night, Ms. Badham answered all the earnest Q's with tidy stories and southernesque anecdotes I suspect were well-rehearsed.

Below, Cheryl Roche, Tom's wife and my choice for Queen Mum of the Roadtrip, consults a guide to where we shall follow, the local BBQ joint being a typical first stop.

Below, Jay Edwards, creator of Stomp, Shout, Scream!, the first in his SkunkApe trilogy, gets direction from Tom on where to stand for his GPB podcast interview.

Less than 24 hours later, it was right back to the ATL, where a host of interesting offerings are on tap for the coming week, including Cat Power, Judith Owen and a theatrical offering about a true Southern frump, Celestine Sibley.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Movie Making

A movie set for Motives 2 materialized in the neighborhood tonight, morphing the school bus stop into a staging area. This made for an interesting evening's stroll. Ava posed for a shot by the grip truck. Lots of nice young people milling about. One crew member said Ben Affleck was in the movie, but not in tonight's scenes. Can't say I ever saw Motives 1. A bit of Googling finds that the director, Craig, liked the Boondocks/MLK episode, too.

Still the major feature film-making rages on into the night. Yawn. Time for bed. The lead-dog cinemaphotographer was adorable. Sweet dreams.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

The Hard Working Vagina

The answer to yesterday's queston is, "Hell yeah, if Katie Couric sh*ts in the woods, you'd better believe we're gonna watch that!"

The numbers are in. Looks like we were 13.5M strong. I can imagine the brew ha-ha going on at Black Rock this week. Bet that's an exciting place to be, eh Bert?

Schieffer's last week:
NBC: 8,580,000
ABC: 7,560,000
CBS: 7,240,000

Katie's first night:
CBS: 13,590,000 (MSM just put itself back together, Big J.)
NBC: 7,760,000
ABC: 7,580,000

Numbers courtesy of Tom Roche via MediaBistro's Couric Watch site. I wonder what they'll be next week? Can't say I've tuned back in since the debut night. But I just might.

Since I read a mean Harry Potter (we're up to Book 6, The Fresh Blood Prince, now) to my kid each night, I wonder what I'd look like reading the news, but in all that pancake makeup and racoon eyes paste they caked on Ms. Couric. We're about the same age. Heck, I'm not even afraid of no-makeup and glasses, as you can tell from this self-portrait.

Don't ask me what those highlights cost. I don't want to know; I just hand over the card. At least they're not Manhattan prices. I heart the ATL - for real estate and highlights alone. Just know I'll be ready with the Clinique and the snark when they come for the bloggers.

And one other thing, Bob Dylan, who's annoyed me since I was six-years old, in his recent Rolling Stone cover interview, said that book reviewers were so smart and wrote so well that they made him cry sometimes when he'd read what they'd written about his book, Chronicles (2005). (Sorry, you'll have to buy the issue, off the stands now, if you want to read this part.)

Dylan went on to confirm that music critics were simply full of shit bottom-feeders. Thanks for the heads-up, Big Daddy Z. Like we couldn't figure that one out on our own. Gawd, some things never change; Dylan continues to remain utterly full of himself. Like we need a freakin' prophet to figure out that music critics are useless!? Go shrug yourself. If there was ever a medium, Mr. Jarvis, that needed exploding...


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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

What If Katie Couric Sh*ts In The Woods?

So... what if a bear poops in the woods and EVERYONE and their redneck, drooling cousin are there to report it? Would bear pooping become newsworthy? Is bear poop now inherently interesting?

Since I grew-up in Kershaw, South Carolina, a portion of the planet where nothing newsworthy has occurred since the Revolutionary War, I was startled to see that the neighboring town of Hartsville is now a pioneer in the field of citizen journalism.

How about those Friday night football games!! Or Congealed Salad Night at the First Baptist Church? (Methodists and Baptists use marshmallows in their congealed salads; Episcopalians do not. They prefer disgusting aspics. More on such social abstractions here.)

Thanks to Prof. Witt over at PJNET.org for this update on the road to nowhere.

In all reality, the Atlanta writer Joe Dabney, who's written with great authority on moonshining, Appalachian cooking and a plane built by Lockheed, is also from Kershaw, SC. He never fails to address me as "Miss Kershaw" when we run into one another at APC gatherings. Annoys me to no end, but I let him get away with the insult if he shares a sip or two of his homebrew.

Speaking of "Person With A Vagina" now anchoring the nightly news, I thought Ms. Couric did well at her new post. Still, no matter how they tart it up with cutesy features like Free Speech (good luck getting on that segment), network news still seems dated compared to the Internet, blogs, iTunes, YouTube and all the e-bells and whistles that give us, the citizen, the illusion of being in control of something... anything.

tags: Katie Couric, news, CBS News, media, citizen journalism, South Carolina, Revolutionary War

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Bubbles, Adopt Me A (Chinese) Baby Now

What does the changing face of the Episcopal church look like? Other than way-gay?

(One frumpy-grumpy old bird got up and moved to another pew the other day at my church when a group of fuming, with perfume, gay men sat down in front of her. I doubt she was a homophobe as she wouldn't be at this church if she was; rather, the stench of the Calvin Klein cologne was utterly overpowering. I had to move, too.)

Anyway, getting back to the point here, Asian girls from about 7-years old on down keep popping-up, quite literally, in every pew of the Episcopal Church. What's with the olde, reliable WASP gene? Unable to reproduce itself? Mon Dior.

Or have WASPy southern women been so busy on the partner track at Troutman and Flounders that they forgot to have children at a riper childbearing age?

I wonder how Chinese culture will blend with old money Southern WASP? Should be an interesting cultural soup. I know my twenty-something, male cousins are dating only gorgeous, razor-sharp Asian women nowadays. As the old joke goes:

Q: How are Southerners like Asians?
A: They both eat a lot of rice and worship their ancestors.

I just wonder how these women will find the relationships with their imperious, blue-blood, high-WASP grandmothers-in-law to be once they grow-up and get to the Inheriting Age? I feel I must warn any woman who might marry into a Southern WASP family not to get too upset if Tara, or the silver, doesn't pass into your hands. It rarely goes to us white women even. The silver maybe, if you learn to kiss Grand-Mere's ass real good over the course of a few decades or so.

Good luck to you all. You'll need it. In the meantime, be sure to watch the freakin' hilarious "Romanian Baby" AbFab episode. Hell, watch 'em all. We women folk sure need the laughs.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

This Ain't No Mommy Blog. No CBGBs

Excuses abound here. I warn 'ya...

Sometimes I wonder why I don't do the "mommy blog" thing more often. To tell you the truth, despite you not asking for it, mommyhood is just downright exhausting most of the time, so the last thing I want to do is dredge it all back and write about it after slogging through it most of the day. And there is no day off. When the kid goes to bed, most of the time I do too.

The horror of the dog attack (on my daughter) on Mother's Day still sends a knife of pain right through me, making it hard to breath and crumbling my knees with a mere flicker of recall; I can't imagine, right now, tackling the sitting-down necessary to write about it. Maybe one day... later.

But I am not going to suppress that incident, nor resign it to some utter bullshit bin of fabricated shamefulness that's not supposed to be talked about, as I was taught to do in that good old-fashioned, southern repressed atmosphere of conformity, dismissiveness, oppression, and overt sexism.

There simply will be no more supressing of horror or grief or truth or anger or shock or pain or abuse or fear or lies or strangeness in my life. Having done so for a lifetime has been nothing but devestatingly destructive on many levels. The buck stops with this blog.

Another reason I don't mommy-blog is that Tania Rochelle at Stone's Colossal Dream does it so damn well, I needn't bother. Besides, she's got numerous kids and a husband. I've got only the one kid. And of course the goldfish and the (good) dog. Tania blogs with lots of pictures too, and most of the time my settings are so weird on my PC, I can't upload pics to Blogger.com anyways.

Gawd, is her 19-year old a genuine Southern beauty or what? Tania was hardly ever homely herself, so Sadie turning out to be so stunning is hardly a surprise. And I needn't bother with the poetry, as Tania's always had that in spades. But I've been known to slip one or two of those in here. Could be more on the way. Consider yourself put on notice.

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006

So Are The Jerks Of Our Lives

I've long felt that The Corrections was the great American novel of our culturally-hideous times. Now Jonathan Frazen shines that infamous, squirmy laser beam on himself.

From today's NYT:

In his new memoir, “The Discomfort Zone,” Mr. Franzen turns his unforgiving eye on himself and succeeds in giving us an odious selfportrait of the artist as a young jackass: petulant, pompous,obsessive, selfish and overwhelmingly self-absorbed.

He tells us that as a child he was “a small glutton for attention, forever turning conversations to the subject of myself.” He tells us that he felt put upon by public entreaties to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina. (“Why should I pony up for this particular disaster?”)

And he tells us that he used to find it difficult to enjoy nature’s beauty: a hike up to a spectacular summit was never enough; instead he would imagine himself “in a movie with this vista in the background and various girls I’d known in high school and college watching the movie and being impressed with me.”


Full review here. I'll spare myself the indulgence of reading this one. I could fill several books with tales of the parade of whiney jerks and assholes in my family and life. Hell, I'd fill a goddamn subdivision with a shit heap of the whiney, indulged, utterly self-absorbed, alcoholic, mean, addicted, useless, worthless, pompous, hopeless, sadistic, socially and culturally myopic, weak, sexist, cowardly, precious, beautiful, brilliant men I've known. Why bother? They're a plague on America as it is.

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Monday, August 28, 2006

If You Go Down In The Woods Today...

You will not be alone. Seems those pesky Brits at The Guardian have disclosed the whereabouts of our Admin's shadow government... up thar in them Blue Ridge hills of VA, right outside Washington. Naturally enough. Of course, if you Google "Mount Weather," you'll only find a zillion sites and articles that will lead you right to the freakin' front door, where you'll promptly be escorted on your way by men in black.

As one VA witness declared, eyes wide open, regarding events of 9/11 on good 'ole Rocky Top/Mount Weather, "I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but the whole mountain opened up and Air Force One flew in and it closed right up. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes." GET outta here, Grandma!

Forget rehashing Area 51; this is juicy reading, folks:

Mount Weather is a top-security underground installation an hour's drive from Washington DC. It has its own leaders, police, fire department - and laws. A cold war relic, it has been given a new lease of life since 9/11. And no one who's been inside has ever talked.
Seems no one is still busy not talking, but full story here. Sure beats the hell out of reading about Meredith Vieira's career. Does ANYONE left in America give a flying fuck about Meredith Vieira's career?

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Thursday, August 24, 2006

No Day Job Was Quit

Here it is... graduation night at the Punchline from Jeff Justice's Level II Comedy Workshoppe -- as a podcast. Enjoy!

And a zillion thanks and shout-outs go to Rusty and Amber at the Georgia Podcast Network for being there that night and podcasting this. Thanks guys! You're too hip for the room. Don't ever change.

And "any hippy with a guitar," please contact Rusty at: info@gapodcastnetwork.com

tags: TrueGritz, The Punchline, Sandy Springs, Jeff Justice, Neal Boortz, Royal Marshall,

Monday, August 21, 2006

Run Naked Thru The Streets of Baghdad

Oh how I wish I could, as I mentioned to My Favourite Feminazi, Amber, over at her always delightful blog, Being Amber Rhea. But instead of Baghdad, it's graduation night, where I will again take to the stage at the Punchline tonight to challenge myself, conquer assorted loooming fears, and wrest control away from my always-contentious inner-life, the one that is constantly harping on me, berating the real me with a barage of...

"You can't do something like that. You might fail. I might have to do something. Or, more importantly, you might embarrass:
a.) me
b.) me
c.) the family
d.) me"

Now read that back as my mother repeating it to me over and over and over. When I do that, I understand why I'm compelled to take to the stage once again, as a middle-aged soccer mom, and perform a rather mundane, four-minute long comedy routine.

And once again, anticipating that four-minutes must be my personal version of burning oneself at the stake. The process is THAT frightening. And the payoff... utterly the biggest adrenaline rush you can imagine. Such a brilliant fuck-you to everything you were led to believe as a girl raised in a really screwed-up South.

There are still seats left I hear, so book one now to watch as I walk through the valley of death, fear all evil, and trust that I will emerge unscathed on the other side.

UPDATE: How will I ever go on now? This French woman like soooo totally stole my whole act!

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Friday, August 18, 2006

Basil Roll and A Perp Walk Please

Yep, those Thais sure can put on a good perp walk. Regarding the arrest of the suspect in the JonBenet case, Al Thompkins at Poynter Online says this:

Not since Lee Harvey Oswald have I seen such a display. And yet, courts have said in the past that perp walks can have a legitimate purpose. But perp walks staged for the media, as the Thai perp walk was, present serious Fourth Amendment rights issues. Perp walks in the U.S. are generally OK if they are not "staged" for the media.
Link-saturated piece about the case here.

Former Channel Two pretty-boy reporter, Atlanta's own Jonathan Serrie, now with Fox News' Southeast Bureau, got "screened" over at Huffington Post for his special, cutie-pie brand of "graveyard journalism." Wait until darkness falls and go BOO.

Oh Gawd, where is that group of live-shot commandos when you need 'em? The ones who dress up in silly costumes and run around ambushing news live shots in NYC?

I would about sell my momma down the river to see someone, anyone, pop-up dressed like Grandpa Munster and run around behind PrettyBoy Serrie tonight. Now there's an endless list of possiblities! Send me your suggestions of what you'd like to see cavorting behind a FoxNews live shot.

Better yet, get out there to that graveyard and do your own "run behind." Top of the six o'clock hour is always a good time. Graveyard is out in Vinings somewhere.

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I Had A Ho's Dream

I got astroturfed by Wal-Mart. Icky icky icky. Now, if I was making big bucks while whoring for Wal-Mart, well that's a, uh, totally different perspective! Career too. But I'm not. Don't want to. And have never taken one dime from Wal-Mart. But Andrew Young did, and now he's out 'a there. Seems he got caught "playing church" outside of the church.

Speaking of pimps and hos, I was going to give you the Daily Show clip of the Jack Kingston (R-Georgia) return engagement, complete with the lime-green pimp mobile. Makes all the black and beige Bentleys around Buckhead look sooo boring. But it was taken off YouTube.

So I give you, you hard working Americans, Racoons On A Space Shuttle. Because you've earned it. Hey, beats wearing one of those "Look At Me. I Am A Sheep" ribbons Wal-Mart's handing out on their TOTALLY FAKE site. Don't worry, America. I'll soon get you the name of the PR firm/Ho Headquarters that did this.





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