Ahmadinejad Not Welcome At Ground Zero? Try Edelman.

Poor President of Iran... he's coming to visit the States, do a little debating, raise a few nuclear weaponry funds, take in a show or two. But Little Man Ahmadinejad has been thwarted from his whacked photo-op intentions to lay a wreath at Ground Zero. Official New York surely doesn't want him to darken their doorstep downtown.

Silly dude! Didn't anyone tell him he just needed to hire Edelman? They excel at fake PR. They're the network. They Da Man.

Whatcha want to bet Edelman could get Ahmadinejad the Ground Zero wreath laying event he's craving? Edelman thing doesn't work out, try Caren West. Heck, she'll even toss in a fake column in the Sunday Paper for ya too at no extra charge. What a deal.

Come on Ahmadinejad. Think outside the Axis of Evil! This is America hon, where you can always manufacture yourself some ethics and integrity if you're running low.

Ask Ahmadinejad

Awwww, this is soooo sweet! The Iranian President likes us. He really does! He seems to know what's best for the American people (and one must assume Iranians too), and wants to tell us all about it in his Open Letter To America here. Heck, he's so warm and fuzzy and has our best interests at heart you could ask him to join your book club. Or watch you pole dance?

Here's your moment of "Could've fooled me, dude." here:

While Divine providence has placed Iran and the United States geographically far apart, we should be cognizant that human values and our common human spirit, which proclaim the dignity and exalted worth of all human beings, have brought our two great nations of Iran and the United States closer together.

I love saying "Ahmadinejad" for some reason; I just think Trout Almondine and I can remember it that way. And now I shall add him to my People I'd Like To Meet (or again) always fluctuating list, along with:

Karl Rove, Warren Beatty, Christopher Guest, Ralph Fiennes, Rod Stewart, George Clooney, Bailey White, Neal Boortz, Dallas Austin, Griftdrift, Driftgrift, Lilly Tomlin, the guy from summer camp who played the banjo, Vivianne Westwood, Prince Charles, Prince Charming, Prince, Marc Jacobs, Martin Amis, Christopher Hitchens (with booze), Stefan, Tony Paris, Beige, Keith Olbermann, Lu (Grrrlfriend hon, it's been way too long since we've been drankin' at the Yacht Club), Shelley Ross (see entry below), Peter Murphy, Anne Cox Chambers, and of course my lifelong secret obsession-person. (I'll never tell, but I might blog it periodically. Hint, it lives right here in the ATL.)

Forgive me, but the spirit of the Making A List time of year overcame what's left of my good reasoning. And did Newt's Free Speech committee approve that oh-so-rational Iranian's remarks?