Hillary's Media Makeover

Let’s face it, no matter what you think about her, Hillary Clinton could use a media makeover. I mean, have you ever even seen one snapshot of her exercising? Shopping? Eating? Plain ‘ole everyday things we (voting) American women do all the time?

Fellow Atlanta blogger, Sara, of the popular Going Through The Motions, and I stopped by Hot Political Air Night (any Tuesday, any season) at Manuel’s for a cold one last night and compiled our helpful hints Top Ten list. Since I’m all hot for lists now, of course.

Then again, it was compile lists or try to out-shout Tom Houck and Michael Maloof over the composition of Atlanta city politics come 2009. So here ‘ya go Hillary. Have at it:

1.) Get a dog. A Beagle would do nicely.

2.) Be seen with a Diet Coke in hand. Often.

3.) Get caught working-out, or at least power walking in soccer mom ‘hood.

4.) Drop by Global Coffee Chain; bonus points: use laptop while in Global Coffee Chain

5.) Photo-op at a hospital in am, preferably with sick children; then get snapped later same evening on celeb’s yacht. (This strategy worked great for Diana.)

6.) Visit with Chelsea, wherever she is. Have nails done together.

7.) Stop by a Whole Foods and chat with immigrant staff about organic produce in West African nations.

8.) Cook something. Suggestion: A simple, yet fresh and tasty pasta dish.

9.) Dump Bill.

10.) Take him back.

Beach Party Tonight

Yeah, well being Atlanta and the end of the General Assemmlee and the 5th anniversary of Being Amber Rhea, I've a feelin' the party will be the Redneck Literati Assisted Living Home (Manuel's) tonight and, sadly, not on some beach.

This post put together by, uh, somekindacountryfuckweirdshit. And it's not even 10am. Can't say I've EVER had the slightest urge to listen to the Violent Femmes since, say, 1984 or so. But there's something kinda harmonic strangeness afoot. Gonna go dig through the stacks, rest, and brush-up on those pagan rituals.

Viewing At Manuel's Tonight

No, not a viewing of the body, but of What Not To Wear. All the ladies of the Atlanta Gorgeous Ladies of Comedy troupe will be appearing on tonight's 9pm episode on TLC, and there's a viewing party at Manuel's!

Jenny Clark will get the actual fashion makeover, and the other ladies are starring as the support team/cast, including my old College of Knowledge pal, the infamously funny-wicked Allison Dukes Gilmore, one of the Gorgeous Ladies and also a Laughing Matters vet. Tune-in tonight wherever you can and join in the loopy reindeer games.

It's A'Rainin' Men, Allelueia

And they're all over 55. So what's it like to be just about the only chick under 50 (at least in the Redneck-Literati Room) on Election Night at Manuel's, a drinking establishment so packed last night they couldn't squeeze another Democrat in if Howard Dean started screaming?

Typical overheard/solicited/participatory verbage through the night went something like this:

"Hey, you voted for any Republicans?"
"No, but I fucked one once."
"Norton says he fucked Peggy Noonan once."
"But he can't remember."
"I'd go down on Nancy Pelosi."
"Hey, we just met. Let's play a game. Who in this room last paid for sex?"
"Would you lap-dance for me?"
"Depends on what you're paying."
"Tell me 'bout the Internets."
"You can't handle the Internets."
"My huge-roids are acting-up. I gotta stand-up and go flirt."
"Your website is awesome."
"Your website sucks."
"Did you know I'm a writer too?"
"Where's Grift Drift?"
"Beats the fuck outta me. I only met him on a blog."
"I think it's Drift Grift."
"No you dumbass. It's James."
"Take my chair and I'll knife you."
"Bring it on, bitch."
"Doug Teper wears black Italian shoes."
"Doug Teper is a black Italian."
"If you say J-E-W, you're an anti-Semite."
"If I sit next to Ken, does that make me a racist ho?"
"Where do you think Vernon Jones is about right now?"
"Up Sonny's ass."
"Hey, there goes a Millennial. With a fuckin' cell phone!"
"Hell, they're coming in here in droves."
"No Wi-Fi here you idiot poseur."
"Ain't never gonna be either."
"They speak French at the Fulton County Courthouse?"
"Look, there's whites and blacks and people with beards here."
"I got a coupla deaths threats from that story."
"Congratulations!"
"Norton's gonna run this new government."
"McNair can be his driver. He's from Alabama."
(Norton himself:) "I'll be the Liquor Commissioner!!!"
"Man, that's a really big mic you've got."
"Yeah, but it don't work."
"Do you really make money blogging?"
"I lap-dance so I can blog."
"Why are there no Southern politicians with paid bloggers?"
"They cain't turn on a computer yet."
"Who you mean? The bloggers or the politicians?"
"Dick Cheney shoot any lesbians yet?"
"Are we the only Red State in the nation now?"
"No, we're the only Ree-tards in the nation now."
"You really miss Tommy and Manuel on a night like this."
"Yeah"