Wednesday, November 08, 2006

It's A'Rainin' Men, Allelueia

And they're all over 55. So what's it like to be just about the only chick under 50 (at least in the Redneck-Literati Room) on Election Night at Manuel's, a drinking establishment so packed last night they couldn't squeeze another Democrat in if Howard Dean started screaming?

Typical overheard/solicited/participatory verbage through the night went something like this:

"Hey, you voted for any Republicans?"
"No, but I fucked one once."
"Norton says he fucked Peggy Noonan once."
"But he can't remember."
"I'd go down on Nancy Pelosi."
"Hey, we just met. Let's play a game. Who in this room last paid for sex?"
"Would you lap-dance for me?"
"Depends on what you're paying."
"Tell me 'bout the Internets."
"You can't handle the Internets."
"My huge-roids are acting-up. I gotta stand-up and go flirt."
"Your website is awesome."
"Your website sucks."
"Did you know I'm a writer too?"
"Where's Grift Drift?"
"Beats the fuck outta me. I only met him on a blog."
"I think it's Drift Grift."
"No you dumbass. It's James."
"Take my chair and I'll knife you."
"Bring it on, bitch."
"Doug Teper wears black Italian shoes."
"Doug Teper is a black Italian."
"If you say J-E-W, you're an anti-Semite."
"If I sit next to Ken, does that make me a racist ho?"
"Where do you think Vernon Jones is about right now?"
"Up Sonny's ass."
"Hey, there goes a Millennial. With a fuckin' cell phone!"
"Hell, they're coming in here in droves."
"No Wi-Fi here you idiot poseur."
"Ain't never gonna be either."
"They speak French at the Fulton County Courthouse?"
"Look, there's whites and blacks and people with beards here."
"I got a coupla deaths threats from that story."
"Congratulations!"
"Norton's gonna run this new government."
"McNair can be his driver. He's from Alabama."
(Norton himself:) "I'll be the Liquor Commissioner!!!"
"Man, that's a really big mic you've got."
"Yeah, but it don't work."
"Do you really make money blogging?"
"I lap-dance so I can blog."
"Why are there no Southern politicians with paid bloggers?"
"They cain't turn on a computer yet."
"Who you mean? The bloggers or the politicians?"
"Dick Cheney shoot any lesbians yet?"
"Are we the only Red State in the nation now?"
"No, we're the only Ree-tards in the nation now."
"You really miss Tommy and Manuel on a night like this."
"Yeah"

3 comments:

griftdrift said...

hahahahahahahaha.

I was hiding in the back with the younguns. I see you never made it past the cognoscenti!

Spinnster said...

I was at Mark Taylor's shindig at the Renaissance Hotel. How depressing that this was the best the Democrats could do. His family and entourage looked like the poster group for white trailer trash!

Amber said...

Sounds like a hoot. If I hadn't been down and out with the flu, I would have been there to mock them with you. Fish, barrel, etc.