Tuesday, February 28, 2006

How Peachy Is Your Uterus?

Better make sure it's up to par, as male Fundy politicians could come knocking on your door to examine it personally if things keep up the way they are currently in the Georgia Legislature, in this mid-way point of this horrendous session we're all suffering through.

Things are at such absurd levels, given the height of male hysteria over women's health and reproductive issues under the Gold Dome, that even the AJC noticed! Says it, in a staff editorial today:

"This is not the year of the woman at the General Assembly; it's the year of the womb.

A batch of anti-abortion measures is racing through the General Assembly, all of which reduce a pregnant woman to a vessel. One bill accords an embryo the same legal standing as the pregnant woman herself. Another allows pharmacists to refuse to fill prescriptions for emergency contraceptives. Among the most intrusive is SB 429, which forces a pregnant woman to have a sonogram or ultrasound for no medical reason whatsoever."

Seems like a revival of some of that there good old-fashioned radical feminist strategy is gonna have to be hauled out of the closet and dusted-off before too much longer.

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope."
"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope."
"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope."


Find Andy's Mind

Apparently a bit difficult this year, as it's all over the place. Andrew Young's poised to whoop it up on the stand today for close personal pal, Ummm Ummmm (Good Where It Matters Most) Campbell. And then he's schillin' and trillin' for Wal-Mart. Huh?

As I mention over at Peach Pundit, not Peach Buzz, this could be a totally good thing. We'll now be able to get our Heroes Of The Civil Rights Movement action figures at really amazingly low prices! Like a set of 6 for 5-bucks. Comes with linkable arms and a free "We Shall Overcome" sound chip. Collect 'em all. Bridge sold separately. Not to be made in Atlanta though. Nor Georgia. Heck, not even the U.S. How about China?!


More like things are starting to have a faint whiff of misguidance, akin to that hideous Edward the (once) VIII and that most supreme of hags, Wallis Simpson, and their devotion to all-things-fascist during WWII.


Saturday, February 25, 2006

Gorgeous Goths

As I recently referenced Marilyn Manson in a post to a Georgia political, heavily Republican blog, Peach Pundit, I just remembered that Manson's December wedding to the stunning burlesque performer, Dita Von Teese, is featured in the latest Vogue.

Got mine in the mail yesterday. Run, do not walk, to the newsstand to get your copy now. Dita's (numerous) wedding-related gowns and outfits are just wild with style and passions. Vivienne Westwood creations are front and center, of course. Gives me plenty of ideas for that all-important second wedding, should I ever set my sights on such a thing. (White will be banned from that event. Wore that once; got me nowhere fast.)

Note Ms. Teese's strong Scarlett O'Hara influence and resemblance. Now there's a fashionista icon a Southern girl can smack her lips about!

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South Shall Never Rise Again Now

Not in any Big Media kinda way. I am so very sorry, folks. Believe me when I tell you, I really did try to purchase Turner South, chiefly to keep it out of the filthy hands of sports-addicted Yankees and meglomaniacal Australians. But, oh, the programming fun I'd have!

At my friend Suzan's suggestion, and being a little low on the millions last week, I offered John Schuerholz a case of bourbon and a truckload of soybeans for our beloved, quirky channel, as a stand-alone deal that is, minus the Braves.

As the Braves' GM and I patronize the same hair salon, I was laboring under the impression of having exclusive access to the inner sanctum of Big Media wheelin' and dealin' when Mr. Schuerholz told me (of my offer), "That'll get you in the door." Funny, I never was able to locate that particular door. Fat Cat liar.

But a girl can still have her southern culture Big Media dreams, now can't she? Heck, if I hadn't pissed-off every last one of my rich relatives by now, I'd be halfway there.

Back to bloggin' on the front porch fer me, lovies...

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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Do You Idolspize?

Idolspize: a perfect new word for what is an age-old cultural phenomenon - secretly loathing/admiring those whom you claim to admire/loath.

The Washinton Post online has a marvelous article about this particularly insidious emotion, featuring the author's personal source of idolspizery, Susan Orlean. (Good source I must admit!) From the Post:

"Let me explain. It recently became clear to me that modern life has spawned a brand new emotion, that psychological sidewalk-crack between envy and idolatry that we often succeed in jumping over, but once in a while fall right through. That's where we meet them, those of superior beauty, character, talent and intelligence and, if friends, who are never less than loyal, supportive, generous and kind. For this we loathe them."

I'll 'fess up with my own idolspized short-list: Julia Reed, Tift Merritt (above photo), Hollis Gillespie, Marina Rust, Cynthia Tucker, Brini, Reese Witherspoon, my old college roommate who's now the first female chief-of-staff at her hospital. (You should see her house.)

Also, Brini's podcast, on alt.NPR (cute, huh) is here. Subscribe and be at peace with the charming vision of The World As You And Brini Know It Should Be.

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Saturday, February 18, 2006

Condom Broke? Return It To These Dudes

Georgia politicians are lurking around our beds, again. Three of 'em are shown here. Click on a pic for mailing addresses.

Back off Fundies, least someone dare have sex for recreational purposes only here in the Peach State. The nerve. Is there anything more laughable than another uptight, white male Republican so terrified of women (and men presumably) gettin' off that they bluster about all puffed-up with piety, writing up absurdist, childish, time-wasting attempts to legislate our morality for us?

How can you slam the door in the face of these intrusive, Republican, male privacy-mongers, with their highly deceptive attempts to confuse the public and hinder access to birth control? By writing to your Georgia State Senator, find yours here, and asking them to stop Senate Bill 123, which is in committee chats as we speak.

But first, some extremely critical background... do you know the difference between "emergency contraception" and the "abortion pill?" Don't lie. You likely couldn't tell me the difference; I was totally confused myself.

Here's the difference between the two, according to About.com:

"The Emergency Contraception Pill, or morning after pill, is a pill that is available as a combination of estrogen-progestin, or progestin only (Plan B is one brand name of this). These are the exact same medications that are contained in normal, daily, birth control pills. They work to inhibit ovulation, fertilization, and implantation of the egg in the uterus. Emergency contraception does not work if a fertilized egg has already implanted (i.e. the woman is pregnant). The pill can be used within 72 hours of sex to prevent a pregnancy.

RU-486, or abortion pill, is a pill taken in combination with prostaglandin. Ru-486 is a high dose of mifepristone, which works to block the creation of progesterone, a hormone that is necessary to create and sustain pregnancy. This triggers the uterus to shed its lining and opens the cervix."

Full definition here.

But SB123 reads like this, totally confusing two very different prescriptions:

First Reader Summary:

A BILL to be entitled an Act to amend Code Section 16-12-142 of the Official Code of Georgia Annotated, relating to requiring medical facilities or physicians to perform abortions and requiring others to assist, so as to provide that a pharmacist who states in writing an objection to any abortion shall not be required to fill a prescription for an emergency contraceptive drug which purpose is to induce and effect an abortion; to provide that such refusal shall not be the basis for any claim for damages; to provide for the duration of the effectiveness of the written objection; to provide for related matters; to repeal conflicting laws; and for other purposes.

Is this written to intentionally confuse the public and further a thinly-veiled pro-life, religious agenda? Or is it written just because no senator shown here bothered to do his homework? Or both?

The way this bill is worded, and let's hope this language is changed soon or better yet, just thrown out altogether, a Fundie pharmacist could refuse to fill a prescription that could ultimately PREVENT an unwanted pregnancy by use of emergency contraception, or EC. Emergency contraception won't even work if someone is already pregnant! So it can't induce an abortion at all; that's a job for RU-486, not EC. So opposing abortion on moral grounds is one thing; prescribing EC is another. We're talkin' apples and oranges, folks.

Taking such a righteous, moral superiority-based action thus furthers the possibility of producing yet another abortion if an unwanted pregnancy ultimately takes place and is ultimately aborted. That makes NO sense whatsoever. Seems like anyone honestly opposed to abortion, and not just pushing their religious doctrine on us, would want to work towards preventing ALL unwanted pregnancies.

Don't we all have a common goal of reducing the total number of abortions performed? Put your money where your mouth is, Fundies, and PREVENT the need for abortion in the first place by making more options for birth control readily available to the public.

Or what the hell, just by-pass the political system altogether. It's a free market world now isn't it? Do your own here, but the Spacey Gracey Review does NOT endorse this method. Not while control of one's own reproductive destiny is legal - and safe - at least.

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Thursday, February 16, 2006

What's In Your Purse, Ladies?

Don't you Atlanta gals, particularly Marion and Martina, wish you had this handy little site back in the day? Could've saved oodles of time on the stand fer sure.

Monday, February 13, 2006

All Men Are Liars

But not so much so as All Men Are Greedy. Bottom line: a satisfied woman does not cheat, and eventually is made a fool of; a satisfied man gets overly-inflated, and eventually makes a fool out of himself.

In more hot news from the Campbell trial, girlfriends are just comin' outta the woodwork down at the Big Dick, the Richard B. Russell Federal Building. (Give a shout-out to former Channel 2 man-about-town, Patrick Crosby. He works there; he should receive a prize for looking good while looking busy.) Get one off the stand, and, ooops, up pops another.

This week, the feds introduce Martina Jimenez... the adorable Ms. Jimenez loves charitable gifting, estate planning and, alledgedly, married men. Just the discreet kinda gal to, uh, manage your hard (earned of course) assets, n'est pas? Here's her website.

The way things are going, Bill Campbell may singlehandedly reverse six years of anti-American sentiment, derision and contempt on the part of the French. You know how they love a good extramarital romp over there. See Monsieurs and Mesdames, we're not all so deadly dull and provincial after all!

Quiz: Name the artist who wrote/sings today's headline and win a prize. (No, it isn't Edith Piaf.) Prize TBD by staff of the Spacey Gracey Review. Prize value not to exceed cost of dinner and a hotel room for just another night out on town for former Atlanta mayors.

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Left Behind Brainless

I am so OVER families of 9/11 victims wailing and gnashing their teeth, again. Bizarre, PR-related hysterics seem to happen every time they are not magically granted special privileges and rights they feel entitled to by an act of terrorism.

Now victims' family members are beating their chests and tearing their hair out because a branch of NYC government failed to "secure" all imagery associated with 9/11; thereby other people, perfect strangers even, are, gasp, using the events of 9/11 for their own artistic purposes. The nerve! What kind of lackadaisical, unresponsive government do we have that won't go in there and seize a copyright from its owner?!

The New York Daily News says,

...photographer Gregg Brown, who was paid about $300,000, refused to sign an agreement that would have given the city ownership of 30,000 photos and countless hours of videos - all captured while he was in an NYPD helicopter.

Instead, Brown registered the material with the U.S. Copyright Office for himself, then used some of the video in a documentary, "Words," The News reported. Some of his photos are being sold through a major photo agency.

Full article here.

How dare someone use a moment in history for an artistic endeavor! The nerve. Take a torch to Guernica. Quick. Before somebody goes all weirdo arty on us. God forbid we try to INDIVIDUALLY and INDEPENDENTLY interpret HISTORY.

Sorry... I'm shouting here, but I'm really deeply incensed by this particular level of gross American stupidity. This is the kind of thing that makes hip Euros laugh their butts off at us. Maybe that doesn't bother you, but I can't sleep at night sometimes for thoughts of snotty, gorgeously attired, reed-thin, brilliant French chain-smokers all laughing at me outside Deux Magots. It was bad enough when I was a teenager.

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Thursday, February 09, 2006

Mistaken Epiphany

In more News From Space, I've had a really wacky go of things lately whereby I:

A.) Thought the suburbs were cool.
B.) Felt that maybe Bill Campbell wasn't such a bad guy after all.

I'm still plagued by the astonishing discovery last week, en route to a suburban ice rink, again, that out there in the deepest of 'burbs, almost exurb territory, lies this great, new fast-food franchise which serves-up wonderfully fresh, healthy, cheap food.

("And what were you doing lurking in the 'burbs," you mutter? I had, foolishly, allowed my child to watch the U.S. Figure Skating Championships recently on TV. As a result, she now has visions of spinning herself into a coma while dressed like a grinning pole dancer, and as there are no ice rinks conveniently located at, say, Ansley Mall... you get the picture. And you know what iced madness begins tonight...)

Back to the story at hand... Take for example this $2 salad:

There just isn't any place in-town where you can get a $2 salad of this caliber. Why not? Why do we have to pay, for starters, about $7 for something similar? Man, if I was an entrepreneurial kinda gal, I'd sink some serious money into Artuzzi's, a new franchise owned and operated by the Moe's people. These folks know what they're doing.

So, I start thinking that the 'burbs could be tolerated, even appreciated, and that maybe there could be Artuzzi's and dirt cheap gyms on every inner city street corner, and that way we could fix the national health crisis. Then I looked around at all the bland, fat people all over the 'burbs and thought, "F-it. I'm headed back to town," whereby I ran promptly right into a slim, quite nice-looking Bill Campbell at a Midtown pub.

As Hiz DisHonor was moreorless blocking the door to the entrance of the place, I had no choice but to extend my hand and say something. I wanted to say, "Hey, didn't I just see you on Channel 2 in a courtroom sketch/drama about 1/2 hour ago," as I'd actually just seen such a sight. Instead, I summoned all my Raised Right Southern Girl powers and muttered something about, "Seems to be going well for you. As much as one can tell about that sort of thing."

Good Lord, what was I thinking? I have no EARTHLY idea how federal, mayoral corruption trials are supposed to be going. Talk about making nice-nice on the fly. I do know that the Campbell trial is the best thing not really on TV we're not really following. Why not is beyond me, as this trial has got it all: cheatin' hearts, sychophants, fools, court jesters, super-sized egos, trips to Paris, illicit behavior, disgraced anchorettes, lame efforts at discretion, sex, cash, cash, cash, more sex, gambling, more gambling... and we haven't even gotten to the Bad Mayorin' part yet!

Perhaps one day there will be cameras in federal courtrooms. If not, maybe in the meantime, a truly independent, (credentialed) genuine blogger at least, with a front row seat to the best show in town who can offer up the sights, sounds and scents of what could be a media orgy of outbursts, contrition, threats, tears, shouts, greed, lust, megalomania, guilt, despair, fallibility, denial, and on and on and on. Yep, it's got it goin' on.

But until such a glaring need is filled, we are reduced to reading tedious, flavorless, same ole same ole AP-style notations from yet another pulse-free reporter with corporate-designated space on a silly website that MSM (Main Stream Media) laughably packages as something a costly, bullshit marketeer told them was a "blog."

Will MSM ever get it? We're not the fools the AJC takes us to be; if those things are blogs, then I'm the illegitimate love-child of Karl Rove and Betty Friedan. Jermaine Dupri and Anne Cox Chambers? Saxby Chambliss and Jane Fonda? Elton John and Sam Massell? Ashley Smith and Clark Howard?

Before I let ya' go, let the record show that Yahoo Inc. is assisting Big Brother. Shame, shame, shame. Li Zhi good man. Yahoo bad, very bad.

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Friday, February 03, 2006

Feel Free To Break My Heart

Oh my, Ladies. Have ya'll checked out Brit popster, James Blunt? Click here as fast as you can. You middle-age housewives will simply PASS OUT. Gawd, could there be anything more perfectly indulent on a cold and rainy February day than Back To Bedlam, a cup of Tension Tamer and a book by the fire? How about Wuthering Heights -- again. Oh screw the book. How about young JB here in a ruffley white shirt and a tattered waist coat?

Oh, my my my. I have died and gone to misery-heaven. Just be sure to download the uncensored version of Back To Bedlam. Let's just all go get as black as we can. Jimmy here will turn around and sing about having goals and babies and having to leave and all that Oprah-stuff. Shut Up!

Trust me hon, ain't no gym in the world gonna give you what this CD can. Nor any Yank man for that matter, but that's another blog altogether. Use your money wisely.

In other anglophile (who me?) production notes, are you not just lovin' every minute of Bleak House on Sunday nights!? Gillian Anderson takes Yo, Cold White Bitch to glorious, new heights of acting marvel. As one reviewer put it, "she (Ms. Anderson) can fire a maid like nobody's business."

tags: James Blunt, Back to Bedlam,