Never Met A Rule He Didn't Like

I know this little boy, Andrew Keen, is just a Br'er Rabbit Tar Baby, itching to be thrown into the briar patch so he can sell some books, but ok... let's throw him in and scratch away! The only way to even begin to preserve what only the few really care to preserve at this point, Keen's clarion call to defend the honor of MSM, would be via massive levels of government cultural intervention... to the point of banning anonymous commenting on blogs, apparently.

Really, Mr. Keen doesn't resemble so much the contentious Br'er Rabbit as he does Laura Mallory, a person clamoring to be taken seriously, through benefit of that perceived "unbiased" media lens, by restricting some thing that has become part of the cultural mainstream on their watch, but of course without their permission. At what point did Keen or Mallory become anointed from on-high to go about and do the nation's cultural morality business? There is garden-variety narcissist; then there are these culture-sensibility clowns.

As we head to the July 11 premier of The Order of The Phoenix, let us not forget that Umbridge-esque behavior, that hyper-zealous drive to preserve a crumbling status quo, will drive people not only to despair, but to desperate action. To write laughably outrageous books as well.

Small Minds At Large

Gawd, we grow small minds as well as we do peaches in this state! First Laura Mallory, then this here Prissy Mary. And all she saw was a couple of rinky-dink signs. She must have lost her invitation, and not only her cloistered mind, to Impeachment Weekend.

But not to fret and frown so, Mary hon. Soon it won't be just a few dozen yippies and hippies who want to "impeach" Bush. Looks like the United States military establishment might do all the heavy lifting for those icky dead beats. (Lordy mercy, will that f with Mary's head!)

NOTE ONE: At least when you Google "Inman Park Parade" you get an offering from a blog (this one) before you get something from Big Media. Guess the Inman Park Parade was way too "zany" to be considered good, visually-oriented LOCAL coverage for a LOCAL paper like the AJC, eh?

NOTE TWO: Is it just me, or should people who use the word "zany" in their copy ever be taken seriously?

Now get out there and send Prissy Mary a tee-shirt!

Free The Country Club Ho's!

Honestly, call these suburban call gals what you will, but be sure you call 'em rich! Thanks for the golf course tip, PS. No doubt more lives have been ruined out there in Gwinnett by small minds-at-large rather than prostitution.

Harry Potter Puts A Spell On Laura Mallory

I hereby decree that the State of Georgia banish book banners to the rubbish bin of media oblivion! Looks like the kids from Hogwarts will be sticking around the Gwinnett County schools. And just in time for holiday hexes. The official vote is Thursday though.

Let's hope the kiddies out there have been stirring at their cauldrons well so that they can hex that hag good. And yeah, if anyone needs a nice, secular Happy Holidays shoutout, it'd be Laura Mallory.

So say it with me folks so they can hear it out there in Gwinnett County... HAPPY HOLIDAYS! And to Laura Mallory and whatever your freak-agenda really was, get back to the subdivision, read the books for chrissake, and leave the rest of the world free at last of your idiot babble, hon.

UPDATE: The case will be decided Thursday Dec. 14th at the State Board Room at the downtown Atlanta-based Georgia Department of Education. The website is here. Location here. The regularly scheduled board meeting begins, behind closed doors, at 8am. According to the GDE communications department, the "vote (on an appeal case) is taken without comment. Generally they identify the case by number only."

For the life of me, I can't find a case number associated with the Laura Mallory case on the website, which seems to be a very good one until you enter the search term "Laura Mallory." Then nothing pops up. No case number. Nothing. Maybe you can find it here.


FYI: J.K. Rowling's official website is a delightful time-waste. Find the secret body image rant! Love it.

Technorati tags: Harry Potter, Laura Mallory, Georgia Board of Education

We've Heard Enough Now Shut-Up

I need to take a smallish blog-break this week to:

a.) build a fallout shelter
b.) actually work

Gotta crank-out a real video for a real client real quick, so no real blogging until Friday.

I do have a bit of real information for you though, in that I had an e-mail exchange with Dana Tofig, Director of Communications for the Georgia Department of Education, about the status of that case belonging only to the personal, religious crusade of that hideous, Umbridge-like woman, Laura Mallory -- the hapless hag who wants to rid Gwinnett County of imaginary menaces from the Harry Potter books. And forceably detach, one must assume, our children from their beloved characters, as well as their own imaginations.

Tofig had this to say about the status of the book-banning case we wish was just a bad dream:

Mr. Buckland (a hearing officer for the state who recently heard an appeal) will not make a recommendation publicly and there will not be a public hearing. The (state education) board's decision, expected in December, will be posted on the internet at http://www.gadoe.org/. This is how appeal hearings are handled in every case.

This case will be handled like any other. State law allows this mother the right to be heard and the case will be decided on the merits of state school law and board rule and nothing else.

Decisions are made behind closed doors only? And all results are posted only on the Internet? Hmmm... I'm sure that Misguided Mallory will be more than happy to oblige the press when the decision does get "posted" wherever.

Let's hope, for this Communication Director's sake alone, that rational minds will prevail, in private or otherwise. Should something ludicrously drastic happen to the sensibilities of state board members and the Harry Potter books are taken away, we in Georgia will rival only North Korea for seismic activity, only any vibrations felt 'round the world from these parts will be generated by global levels of laughter and scorn heaped upon us Southerners for our backwardsass ways - again.

Horcrux This Hag

Umbridge Lives!!!! Umbridge Lives!!! Right here in metro Atlanta!!! Run for your lives children, 'cause book-banner Laura Mallory is coming for you and your own good judgement and imagination.

I bet this publicity-crazed Mallory hag would burn I Will Only Read The Bible (non King James version) into the back of my hand (and all my friends too), just as Umbridge burned her wicked rhetoric onto Harry (in Book Five for you non-readers), as fast as you can mutter Detention With Delores.

If Mad Mallory would shut-up with her idiot-babble, thinly veiled as her Fundamentalist agenda, for two seconds and read the damn books, she might recognize her insidious behavior in many of the most evil characters and knock it off.

Some HP characters and their accompanying personality afflictions who spring to mind when I read about Mad Mallory are: Umbridge of course, a huge dose of Dursley, a flicker of Filch and a lashing of Bellatrix Lestrange.

Guard your minds, kiddies, against The Ministry of (Your) Mind Control and their wannabee High Inquisitor like this stupid, stupid Mallory woman. Fiction has become reality I'm afraid.