Friday, March 30, 2007

Definition Of A Loser

I've been easily amused all my life. I will laugh, heartily, at just about anything. Always have, always will: Johnny Carson, Jeff Foxworthy, Jon Stewart, Lilly Tomlin, Madeline Kahn, Gilda Radner, Richard Pryor, John Cleese, The Cable Guy, Lewis Black, Graham Chapman, Flip Wilson, Gene Wilder... you get the point.

Heck, I thought Bush's jokes at this year's White House Correspondents dinner were freakin' hilarious. (Wonder who the writer was?) Arianna Huffington on Larry King Live last night was not amused, but that's beside the point here. (Karl Rove rapping however was hard to take.)

I'm not too easily offended either. I have a notoriously (for my immediate family) crude sense of humor not all of 'em share by any means. I once laughed my big ass off when, years ago, I chanced upon a homemade porn tape in a WSB camera, one likely made in a drunken stupor and then left there by a really really dumb colleague, then discovered the next day by me during a stint of misguided freelancing at that lunatic asylum. It never even occurred to me to "tell on him." I just handed the tape over to one of the budding film maker's buddies, assuring that the story of the homemade porn tape would circulate like wildfire around that juvenile detention center masquerading as a TV station. After watching it again.

But this promo for a book here was sincerely offensive to me. It was so simplistic, so crude, juvenile, coarse and just pathetic all around. Utterly devoid of any wit and cleverness. Just simply appalling, pathetic LGB: Loser Guy Behavior. As utterly average, as plebeian as Americans can be. And we wonder why foreigners not only hate us, but laugh at us behind our backs.

The worse part though is that it was touted, Twittered I should say, by a guy I thought, until now, was really seriously cool, a (previously) witty, honest, razor-sharp kinda guy. The kinda guy I'd love to have met-up with, if he wasn't married that is, and flirt about with a bit at, say... a conference or something.

Is this kinda TMI humor funny to other people? I'm sure it is. I just hope it's not the people I like and admire.

The big irony is that if the guy I do have a serious, real-time crush on was to ever post anything like this, admiringly, on his blog, well... the chances of him ever getting a blow-job from me would plummet to a needlessly frittered away -- absolute zero.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

I Want My Guinea Pig TV

Congressional Hearing On The Power of Power Point to Inflict Alzheimers On Audience

For instance, this lady toady from the Bush Admin only remembers the cookies, begging the question, do liars eat a lot of cookies? I'm in big trouble. Blame the Girl Scouts, hon.

Bunch A Hillbillies

Hello Atlanta bloggers!!! Knock knock. Dave with BlogNetNews has created this whole cool blog news site, with a whole Georgia section that does nothing but -- promote us Atlanta/Georgia news/political bloggers. And Dave from BlogNetNews says not one Atlanta blogger has given him back any linky-love. Jeez... just like a buncha redneck dopes. I told him I know your mommas raised you better'n that.

Now get out there and put out for BlogNetNews, k?

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Careful What You Ask For...

"The Last Thing I Want To Be Is The New Orthodoxy"

Gawd, Jeff Jarvis is just freakin' brill. There are so many terrific, common sense statements about the future of small TV here that I could just transcribe the entire speech and come up with hundreds of amazing statements. Just watch, listen and get inspired!

Communication Overload Causes Mom To Scowl

My kid just totally techno-punked me. A sign of things to come fer sure. Was trying to have a serious busy-ness coversation with someone, on a cell, while kid was supposed to be quietly finishing homework. Kid decided she needed mommy-input right that moment, or rather for mommy to just get the heck off the phone and do kid's homework for her.

Seeing that mommy was NOT going to be interrupted from yet another boring (for kid) conversation (one that could potentially supply income to household) to pay undivided attention to her, kid just utilized another communication device to call and try to interrupt her mother's conversation, from another room.

I scowled and ignored incoming call. After finishing call and lecturing kid about interrupting busy grownups, she just pointed to a messaging device where I immediately listened to a message -- about how kid needed help with homework.

I finally put aside all communication devices and helped with the damn homework. Jeez, the more we communicate, the more needy we get!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

The Crime? No H&M In Atlanta

Southern Women Are Better

There's that cheesy line in that cheesy southern girlie movie, Steel Magnolias maybe, where one of the cheesy characters says something very uncheesy... that her favorite emotion is laughter through tears. And that's exactly what you get with every single page of Tania's achingly poignant, silly, ironic, goofy, wrenching, hilarious, righteous, dead-pan, dead-on blog. If I had to take just one blog with me on a desert island, including my own, I'd take Tania's The Stone's Colossal Dream. And one of her poetry collections too.

Map It. Map It Good.

I heart the Internet. Reason #674: because I can always crack myself up. Just noticed that this Chicago crime stats site, with built-in mapping, has a Gambling category. So if we duped this concept over for Atlanta and then clicked-on Gambling, would all those little blue crime keys light-up on James' street?! That thought for some stupid reason just has me ROFLing -- yeah yeah, I'm easily amused.

Speaking of mapping, the Twittervision thing is kinda weirding me out. And someone suggested I use DodgeBall. Now that just cracked me the fuck up!

Sure, I'll jump right to it, along with those hordes of adorable, frisky 20-something gals with impeccable implants alerting every gadget-monkey with a ______ as to their delightfully frisky whereabouts at some totally swank, ultra-lit martini bar during hipster hours I haven't even seen since, well, staying-up for feedings during the infant years.

I am sure the world awaits the whereabouts of a cranky 40-something soccer mom with absolutely no interest in showing-off tattoos and cleavage she doesn't even have. They could find me and my mesmerizing gripes about city government, after-school activities and the Disney Channel right there at the Publix or the soccer field! With a once-a-year swerve over to the EAYC at best. Talk about sending people fleeing after boring them to tears.

I need a drink.

Journalism On The Crowdsourcing Verge

This site is sooooo awesome -- a citizen journalism project for tracking crime and crime stats in Chicago. It could only be cooler if it was... Atlanta of course.

Think the AJC will work with any techy-minded citizen journalist types to come up with something this civic-minded? Wouldn't put my money on it, but it's worth circulating ideas to MSM about if you have the chance. Or APD. Then again, last time I talked to anyone at APD about anything, I got the usual "what's a blog?" question. Cyber to them means cyber crime still. I hope we understand cyber assistance too.

Another MSM crowdsourcing journalism project, about funky utility rates in a Florida community is here. This is very interesting because my condo complex received some ugly water bills lately that were, historically, way out of proportion with our typical usage/rates.

This one gives me some good ideas about crowdsourcing neighborhood water bill data and information from around my 'hood, starting with the neighborhood discussion board. Lemme get on that...

HT: via much linkage from PJNet.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Media On The Verge

VON07 wrap up video
(or click here)

Wow... I can feel the VON energy and passion coming over the tubes with Jim's package about the (video on the 'net) conference. I actually feel hopeful, for the first time since I read Mel's remarks at least, about the future of new media. Gawd, I wish I had been there.

I'm so psyched for all the guys (shit, it was freakin' Guy World out there. No wonder I wanted to be there so bad) who were able to network amongst themselves. And I'm so proud of an old dog like Jim Long out there learning new tricks, and showing off considerable ones of his own to these young guns and new entrepreneurs too.

Awesome! Sign me up for Boston this fall.

Mr. Edwards' Matter

I can't stop thinking about John Edwards' decision to continue his campaign for President with a sick wife to worry about and care for. Warning: I am not going to sugar-coat this blog entry.

I don't know who Edwards thinks he is. Superman I guess. And Elizabeth too. They strike me as people in total denial of the jagged edge of a crossroad they have come to. And maybe their money and the media and wealth and power and fame and burning ambition will carry them through to the end, bitter or otherwise. I just wonder how long anyone can keep up such a super-human facade. Its lifespan is relatively short too, as is a person with cancer in their bones, I'd imagine.

I look at my friend, the one who's always going to be the guy who's wife has cancer, and I just see a lot of anguish in his eyes. Tiredness. He's so burnt right now. Yesterday he had to take his wife back to the hospital. She's not doing so great with her cancer right now. He was hoping to get a nap in yesterday, after his youngest's soccer game, where he looked tired and and tired and more tired. I wanted to put an arm around him at the game to let him know I care so much about him. I really do.

But all the other soccer moms and dads were there watching me, watching everyone, every kid, every parent, like the hawks they are. It wouldn't have "looked right" for the only divorcee around, the single mom in a crowd of such "strong marriages", since we're not exactly a shining star of marital stability, more like a source of marital suspicion, to be making any kinda physical gesture towards the husband of the cancer victim though. So I did nothing. I told him nothing. Against my natural impulse, I withheld affection.

No one says the word "victim", but it lurks out there around every association with this "cancer family" now. You can sense the unspoken pity. I sense it because I feel it within me. I sense all kinds of guilty weirdness, because truth be told, I like him better than her, the one with the actual disease. While wildly unique and fascinating, she isn't exactly the nicest person on the planet, and having cancer certainly hasn't made her any nicer to me. She was kinda mean and bossy and domineering and rude before, when she wasn't busy being totally hospitable and welcoming and fun. Cancer has made her a victim, not poof, suddenly a better person.

But then his wife was in a lot of pain from an infection setting in at the biopsy point, so there goes his one chance for a nap in weeks yesterday; he had to take her back to the hospital, where she'll likely be for another coupla days. And he has to be back up at the crack of dawn for rounds. Sometimes he sees up to 60 kids a day at his practice. He's a pediatrician, and it's exhausting work whether there's cancer or no cancer in the family.

And he comes home now to a sick wife, or from one hospital to another, and home to two very needy, very active youngsters if there is no one to keep them. Luckily for him, there are grandparents and neighbors to call on in such times. But all children are soooo relentlessly needy, mostly needy of their parents' time and love and unwavering devotion and discipline.

I see the neighborhood women practically elbow each other to compete for a "helpful" piece of this neighborly cancer pie, another unspoken phase of expected behaviors associated with cancer, this almost competitive bid to "help out" the family, providing meals and childcare and laundry assistance, etc. Thanks God such impulses do exist, in some people though. Those kind of people in this neighborhood helped me get through my child's horrible injury last year. The most helpful of all was the woman who now has cancer. I simply could not have gotten through the sheer physical demands of a serious injury recovery process without her. It's a rather schizo relationship we have, I admit.

The impulse to help others doesn't really exist in my family. Their defeatism and ineffectualness causes them to feel great feelings, wring hands, gnash teeth with the best of 'em, but to expend actual energy only in disassociating themselves from other people's unpleasant circumstances. None of them, other than my hopelessly ineffectual yet annoyingly loving father, bothered to show up to help me or Ava through that time last year. His idea of helping is to bait me with his racist politics. I struggle daily with the bitter bitter residuals of their glaring absence.

I see the men in the neighborhood do nothing to reach out to the husband of the wife with cancer. Maybe I've missed something, but they do nothing, they organize nothing; they seem to have faded into their jobs, where they all seem to fade away most of the week anyways, or they fade off to their own backyards. Men just... well, fade away in a crisis.

I think of my ex-husband in the hospital after I gave birth to our child, about 10pm the same evening, after having been woken at 2am earlier in the day by me as I commenced a short, efficient, to-the-point labor of only 10 hours, saying to me, "I'm really tired and exhausted. I need to get some sleep! I'll be back in the morning." And off he went to a nice, hospital-free night's sleep, never noticing a thing about me ever again. When I had a miscarriage about a year later, with complications, he never said a word to me, for me or about me, but I could tell he was relieved there would be no more children that his wife would have to get up and feed in the middle of the night, rousting him from his precious sleep and simplistic routine. I couldn't divorce him fast enough.

The men folk (you're more than welcome to cluck at this point and say "Why bless their heart" but not me) merely occasionally, lamely, inquire with stock questions of the women folk, "How are things are going for the family?" I feel like yelling in their mule-ish, dumb faces, "Fuck if I know! Why don't you go ask the dad? He can likely tell you to your socially-retarded face how he's doing. I don't know. But I doubt he's doing really great right now. As if you were able to even express any kind of male-to-male utterance of care and concern for one another. You men just hang about like lumps and do nothing for one another. Oughta ship you all off to Iraq and let you do something useful there."

Cancer in the 'hood hasn't exactly brought out the best in anyone -- yet. It certainly hasn't brought much good to the surface for me. I'm still trying to swim out of an ocean of my own personal anger, polluted with bitterness and self-pity right now. I know I will. I can do this, but the last thing I've felt is strong or courageous or up to supporting anyone's run for the Presidency. And I don't even have the stupid, evil cancer.

Those Edwards must sure be made of entirely different matter than me. So maybe he should be President.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

BLOG TAG!!!! Seven Songs I Like

I just got tagged by New Media Jim for a list of Seven Fave Songs. Jim was tagged by Jeff Pulver, who was tagged by Chris Brogan, who was tagged by 7-year old Aidan. (Aidan, I'll add some of Ava's, another 7-year old's, faves for you in the Young American Hipster set.)

Ava's Mom's List:

1.) Ballad of Easy Rider -- The Byrds
2.) Don't Want To Live On The Moon -- Ernie
3.) Free World -- Kirsty MacColl
4.) Hoover Dam -- Sugar
5.) Wendell Gee -- R.E.M.
6.) Look On the Bright Side of Life -- Life of Brian soundtrack
7.) Downtown - Petula Clark

Ava's List:

1.) Why Wait -- Cheetah Girls
2.) Get Your Head In The Game -- High School Musical soundtrack
3.) All In This Together -- High School Musical soundtrack
4.) Not Ready To Make Nice -- The Dixie Chicks
5.) Kim Possible theme song - Kim Possible show
6.) Hannah Montana theme song -- Billy Ray Cyrus' daughter
7.) Harry Potter theme song -- Harry Potter soundtrack

I now tag five others, in no particular order: Tim, Bob Mould, Josh, Amber, Sara.

Groovy Girls Won!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Let's Spite The Noses Right Off Of Our Faces

This is just the best song I've heard in ages. I hate to direct you to that toilet bowl MySpace, but you gotta hear it. F-in brilliant.

Why? 'Cause "we're the big door prize."

Who's The Redolant Remora Fish Now?

NEWSFLASH: MSM now working for us. See here and here. Shall we commence cultural re-educational initiative today or next week? Lemme check with the cabal first.

Bum Rush Friends And Family

March 22 is kinda a busy day to stop and think and do for others. Pray like a Buddhist too. My friend and neighbor, the incomparable Jenna Schuh (above photo), mom to Ava's BFFs Eliza and Gillian and wife of Dr. J, begins cancer treatment today for some form of lymphoma. We don't know much more about what kind of lymphoma this is until today's biopsy results are back.

I lot of you probably know Jenna too. As one friend said, Jenna was "ground zero" for the Athens, GA hipster scene in the eighties as she opened The Grit there then. Jenna and I met when we were simultaneously pregnant with our now-seven year olds, bursting at the seams quite literally with babies and new mom-to-be pride. She and Jonathan had just moved to Atlanta, two houses down from me.

My life, nor Ava's, has simply never been the same since! Her cancer diagnosis hasn't even really sunk in yet. I just know she's scared and frightened and worn down with stress and pain right now, drinking a lot of orange juice for some energy and listening to Lucinda Williams' latest.

Jenna hasn't gotten to the "Fuck You Cancer" phase of this yet, but all I can say is... cancer had better get the hell outta Dodge now. When Ms. Schuh sets her famous light and fury into it, I know she and we are going to come out on the winning side of this hell.

(Stefan getting Nigerian SPAM, so I had to remove his email address. Ooopps!)

This post put together to, what else, Mine Again by Black Lab. BRTC.

Bum Rush The Charts Today

Well, today's the day! The day to go to iTunes and download the song "Mine Again" by Black Lab and see if an indie social media effort can take this song to #1 on the iTunes sales chart for the day. I'm gonna go buy it and see what happens. If nothing, I'm going back in my den for the rest of the year.

If the effort does makes news, well... who knows, maybe I'll be inspired to keep on bloggin'. After all, PodCamp Atlanta went right up the Technorati rankings, and we hardly expected that. So who knows what'll happen today! Let's make it a good one for Black Lab. The song's pretty and bittersweet, just the way I like 'em. You, of course, will have to decide for yourself if Mine Again is one you'd want for your iPod. (FYI... Black Lab will donate their portion of today's sales to a college scholarship fund.)

Here's more on the below clip if you need it. Now BumRushTheCharts!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

(If I Could Not Be A) Camera

I sense coming up on a watershed moment with blogging. For about two years now, I've been nothing but a camera with this blog: documenting, producing, taping, recording, writing, agonizing, goofing off, journaling, pleading, hand wringing, shouting, responding, whispering, thinking, pondering, dreaming, crying, screaming, muttering, mumbling, laughing, ROFLing, singing, scrutinizing, cajoling, forgiving, understanding, opinionating, falling, linking, resourcing, referencing, researching, stabbing, touching, linking always linking, reaching for, falling for, liking, contributing, taking a stand, embracing, accepting, rejecting, pleasing, surprising, dismissing, roaring, spitting, denying, ignoring, inspiring, bashing, beating, breaking, hoping, defeating, hitting, caressing, creating, molding, tearing down, loving, hating, burning, tossing aside, turning within, turning outward, stepping on, fucking with, seeking, proselytizing, flipping off, preaching, kissing off, making out, friending, antagonizing, pissing off, getting off, shooting the shit, annoying, flirting, spurning, pleasing, irritating, inciting, boring the shit out of, living out loud with anyone who stumbles into my world here.

But I reach a point of exhaustion and burnout, and yes, even for me, a point of informational overload. I wake up at 6am. By 8am I have a backlog of things I feel inspired and compelled to write about and respond to. I immediately start to prioritize, ranking what deserves my attention that day, in terms of blogging. And off I go. To nowhere, and for no apparent reason. Yet, should I not respond, for instance, to Mel's blog entry, then I won't rest easy until I've done so. And as we blog, war just rages on pointlessly, relentlessly over our heads. Born in domestic strife, and the national strife of the Vietnam War era, seems we've all been waging war since the day I first took a breath on this planet, stopping here and there only to catch our breath and build the machine back up in our momentary lapses of peace.

Lately, I've been late to appointments and meetings and such, due to my need to blog it out. Yet before blogging, I was an extremely punctual person. Old producer habits and organizational skills die hard, unless you're blogging every day. Something's been altered in me by blogging. Something has changed within my DNA almost. But I do not know yet if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I do wonder though, if I need to step back and try to figure out where to go next, or not, in terms of indie blogging?

This post put together with help from... my generation:

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Twittered Out

Twitter just melted down on the SGR. Is it just me?

Committing News Is Better Than Covering It

Here's a podcast of my Old Media session from PodCamp. Not my best. I was kinda hungover and just a little snippy. Imagine that.

My dear New Media Jim is out at VON committing small TV. Here's his coverage of VON. Amani's there too, who, last time I checked Jim's channel, was busy interviewing Jeff Jarvis. How cool is that?!

FYI... the search term Podcamp Atlanta was at #8 on Technorati yesterday. (Screen shot capture from Amber.) Just under SXSW and not far from Paris Hilton. But remember, it's not news-worthy for Atlanta until Cox Plantation says it's news. Currently, PodCamp Atlanta is #14 on Technorati's search terms.

Technorati tag: , ,

Monday, March 19, 2007

PodCamp Post-Mort

Why write a post-mort yourself about PodCamp Atlanta when others have already done the heavy lifting for you?! Some excellent feedback, thoughts, ramblings, musings, general commentary on PodCamp Atlanta are all over the Internets. Here's a list for you:

Ellie's Dad -- I love that a techno-biggy introduces himself at a conference as the author of the "Ellie's Dad" blog! That's soooo social media. Love his remarks here too.

Bernaisesource -- No one writes with the clarity and precision as that Dan Our New Media Man.

GriftDrift -- Always sticks a knife just where one is needed.

Radical Georgia Moderate -- Looks at things in a way you wish you had. Rusty can rearrange your thought process.

Peachtree Screed -- The Godfather.

Amber -- Goddess of social media cool. Damn fine PodCamp organizer too!

Stephanie -- Delightfully readable blogger.

Josh at Hyku -- Our blog guru. Everything we know trickled up from FL with Josh.

What A Concept! -- Sherry the idealist, sets our ATL new media moral compass.

PJNet -- Head counselor at all Media Camp. Leonard keeps us grounded in first aid, safety and media reality.

Mike Schinkel -- emerging on the Atlanta tech blogger scene. Good photos.

The Shelbinator -- the one to watch.

Jeff Haynie -- serial entrepreneur; serious techy.

And then there's the MSM dude's (AP) report.

As Greenfield suggests, you tell me what kind of report/reporting you like best about PodCamp Atlanta '07!

Technorati tag: , ,

Pony Up With SPLOST 3

As much as I hate to miss a moment of good bitchin' and whining, I will also roll-up my sleeves and get to work as needed. So when I rant about media, politics, etc., chances are I'm also out there creating new media product, writing about politics, voting, volunteering, actively campaigning, etc. Lends cache and credibility for those times when we need to shoot our mouths off about whatever ails us, eh?

In that same vein of logic, I also send my kid to public school. You can't be part of the solution until you comprehend the problem from a deeply personal basis, and have a vested interest in improving it, if you ask me. Tomorrow is a chance to vote to continue funding/sales tax for APS schools with a "yes" vote in the Special SPLOSH III election tomorrow, Tuesday March 20.


SPLOST III could generate approximately $550 million
that would help fund the following improvements:

• Complete major renovations on 27 schools:

16 elementary schools (Boyd, Capitol
View, Fain, Lin, Dunbar, Continental Colony,
Fickett, Hill, Peyton Forest, Rivers, Kimberly,
D.H. Stanton, Venetian, Waters, Whitefoord,

7 middle schools (Parks, Walden, Carson,
Young, Bunche, Archer, Sylvan)

4 high schools (Mays, North Atlanta,
Southside, Therrell)

• Address increased capacity needs in growing
areas of the city (elementary schools in midtown and
the northeast; middle schools in the northeast/west
and southwest)
• Install energy-efficient HVAC systems
• Update and improve security systems
• Update infrastructure to accommodate new
technology (computers, Internet, etc.)
• Resolve maintenance issues, including replacing
roofs at several schools

"With the continuation of the SPLOST 1% sales tax, everyone who shops in Atlanta helps share the costs of capital improvements. This would not be an increase in property tax millage rates."

Investing now in education and educational facilities for Atlanta's children is our legacy -- and our future. Amazing things are happening within APS. I couldn't be more pleased with my child's experience and education in the APS, so please don't just whine and bitch about "government schools" when there are so many ways to be part of the solution -- and not just part of the problem (of neglect).

Sunday, March 18, 2007

NASCAR Ignored

Reminded by a mention of Darlington Raceway in a conversation over the weeked, I felt just the tiniest twinge of guilt that I've consciously ignored such a huge portion of my Southern heritage and culture for my entire life, outside of a trip to Dixie Speedway in Woodstock, GA at the urging of my pal James "Slim Chance" Kelly, shown below at Dixie Speedway cooking-up large meat items with his best-gal Claire.

So to counter my gross lifetime NASCAR deficit, I listened to Cap'n Herb's pre-race show while showering. Traffic insane today near Atlanta Motor Speedway, but nothing like the maniacal tone of The Capn's commentary.

Well, that's enough stock car media for me for this decade!

The Best Day Of My Life

Ava turns seven today. A pic from each year's party for mom's reminiscence purposes. This year's to be added later, after park party at 2pm. No costumes, no princesses, no Harry Potter this year. Outgrown already. Two favored boys invited instead. Sigh... I admire people who can write reasonably about their children. I just turn to utter sentimental mush trying to express myself. The emotions are way too grand.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

PodCamp Atlanta Going On Now

PodCamp Atlanta 2007: I went, I video-ed, I talked, I networked, I ate my lunch, I yapped some more. Now I'm just darn tired. Need a nap. Why do all these conferences start so early, immediately after a long night of hard revelry whereby everyone boozes it up good together to kick things off? Followed by yet another evening, for others not on Mommy duty, of hard revelry.

Whatever....Amber did an amazing job organizing. She's got to be the most unpretentious, low-key 'tude super woman I've ever met.

Leonard decided to nix Big Media bashing in the middle of our session about Big Media. Seems Sherry caught it all. And I was just getting started with some great Big Media bashing. Party pooper. I'll know better next time how to take back my topic.

Picture streams from Josh (who gives fantastic opening talk, FYI. Wish he'd gone on longer this am) and from Mike. Some semi-live video weirdness from the Shelbinator. Liveblogging at various places I'm sure.

Takeaway: lots of bloggers like to smoke and drink. Should we get Big Tobacco and liquor sponsorship as these things grow? Definitely should be music features added to social media cons, as podcasting, blogging and vlogging all incorporate music at some point, and lots of music-related issues popped up at PodCamp Atlanta. Live music later in the evening too from participants in bands. Many many ways to expand these un-conferences throughout Atlanta/the community.

Bonus East Atlanta photo stream from Josh here. More later...

Technorati tag: , ,

Friday, March 16, 2007

Seeds and Stems

This is a funny, but not embedable, video: Condi Saves Harlem from Kim Jong-il, via MadTV.

And James Marlow, an acquaintance from the dot bomb days, says he's quitting his position as head of Yahoo! sales here in Atlanta, to become... a politician. Says James in this email message today:
Well, the time has come for the next great adventure. After six fantastic years with Yahoo! I am leaving to run for United States Congress in the special election to represent the 10th District of Georgia.

The 10th District in Northeast Georgia is where I grew up and I hope to have a chance to bring some new energy and fresh ideas to Washington D.C. While I’ve been interested in and involved with government and politics for quite a while, this will be my first run for elective office. Now is a time when our country needs people with experience outside politics and government to step up and try to help bring some new solutions to Washington.

Website for Marlow for the 10th to be up soon. (But dude, where's your YouTube announcement???) I can't endorse his candidacy, or not, as I know James only from Internet-related matters. I have no idea what his political inclinations may or may not be... at this point. What I do know is that Marlow's got to be 100% more on the ball than the Georgia Legislature peckerwoods another James is writing about today.

And finally, whew, some good news about politics and blogging from Jeff Jarvis:

Henry Copeland of Blogads asks the panel to speculate what the technology and moment and person will be that changes politics in this campaign. Armstrong says that someone will become the Walter Cronkite of online, mashing up video with a voice. (Joe) Trippi says that money will explode; within weeks hundreds of millions of dollars will come in from people. “It totally changes the entire game, the big money, the PACs don’t matter anymore… It’s gonna be like a flood.”

DeFeo agrees that the volume of contributors will explode. He says that we are still waiting for that moment to arrive when we declare that the internet has dethroned television in campaigns. He believes that this will actually be a series of moments that add up. Ruffini says that online video is meeting a new meet; in the last campaign, you had to be a big guy to post an online video. No more.

That post in full here. And screw all those SXSW poseurs. Instead, see you at PodCamp Atlanta!!!!!! Manuel's 7pm. Let the wild rumpus begin.

"Everything I Write Has A Soundtrack"

This interview from Between The Lines (here as a podcast) kept me in the car long after I'd reached my destination, listening with fascination. Author David Fulmer has written a mystery novel, Dying Crapshooter's Blues, that incorporates Atlanta myths and legends -- and Atlanta's rich music history.

This podcast with Fulmer talking about Dying Crapshooter's Blues is from the book discussion show Between The Lines on WABE. In the interview, Fulmer talks about Atlanta's significant role in the birth of the modern music industry, something I previously knew nothing about.

Between The Lines is hosted by the delightful Valerie Jackson, Atlanta's former First Lady (Maynard's wife). Jackson's interviews are thoroughly compelling, and she's always so intrigued (so thus we are too) by the authors and their books she brings to her Thursday evening show on WABE. There's a pleasant touch of Momma (Susan) Stanberg about her; she's warm and engaging, a true fan of the material she's inquiring about. You can tell Jackson's a lifelong reader. She really knows her Atlanta and music history too, as we discover here.

If WABE has any other compelling, original programming though, I've yet to hear it. Unfortunately, Between The Lines, a half hour weekly show, seems to be it. And that's a shame. I know they, and our tax dollars, can do better.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Bloggers Suddenly Not "Redolant Remora Fish"

Not only has the MSM political elite, in this case the Washington bureau chief for Time, Jay Carney, given a HT to political bloggerati, the dude's gone so far as to take his hat completely off to bloggers. This time the blogosphere gets kudos for what many consider the inevitable resignation of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales... over his ugly little mass-firing of U.S. lawyers who were apparently not towing the (R ) party line the way Karl Rove likes to see it done.

Heck, before you know it, MSM will be munching-up on those puppies. Keep the heat on, bloggers!

Song appropriate for this, Whip It by Devo, but not available on Pandora, due to licensing issues. Speaking of Internet radio, my beloved always true Radio Paradise is circulating a petition to try to get royalty rates to stay at an affordable rate, a rate that will keep Internet radio alive. According to Mr. Bill at Radio Paradise:

"The US Copyright Office has released their new set of rates for the payment of royalties by Internet Radio -- royalty rates so high that they threaten to put RP (Radio Paradise) and every other US-based indie webcaster out of business. With your help, we will not allow this to happen!"

I signed. Hope you will too.

This post put together by Aztec Camera, We Could Send Letters. "Just close your eyes again. Until these things get better. You're never far away. We could send letters." (Wow. I'd forgotten what a gem this song is!)

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Conservative Party (UK) Breeds Small TV Star

Shmuely Warms My Ice

Shmuely T is at it again... making the big hip-hop/global warming connections, so you don't have to.

Slap On Your Lipstick And Go

To PodCamp Atlanta this weekend of course. Here's a glance to PodCamp Toronto from PodCamp founder, Chris Brogan. (And yeah, he's a Twitter-man.)

You Saved Tibet In That?

Wonderful little photo essay here of Michael Stipe on the style evolution of... Michael Stipe. Lagerfeld is not afraid. Tibet's worse off than it ever was though. Throw another outfit on the pyre, Mikey.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Southern Fried Tech

Enjoy folks. Jeff and Nolan and WaySouth Media and FatMilk Productions created it for you!

Technorati tag:

Monday, March 12, 2007

Comedic Visions

Sometimes your heroes turn up... on Peachtree Street. Of all places.

Let's Conversation! About BumRushTheCharts

Social media is not a trend; it's a force. More info about BumRushThe Charts is here.

UPDATE: Speak of the devil/Pogues/Kirsty MacColl yesterday, here's today's NYT with today's Mr. MacGown, on IRA nostalgia, Wordworth vs. Coleridge, etc. Kinda weird, eh?

Technorati tag: ,

Saturday, March 10, 2007

To The Batmobile Robin. PodCamp's Almost Here!

Holy Shit Batman! Time's a wastin'. Make sure you clear a space on your crazed calendar for PodCamp Atlanta... coming up March 16-18 at Emory. Here's your audio promo. I'll remind you again later in the week. Sign-up here. Schedule of events and sessions here. Get to know the folks who are coming here.

Eeeeee gads! What in the world am I going to wear??????? And only a week out. I'd better shop like my life depends on it this week. That chore could keep the blogging kinda lite.

Also coming soon to a Small TV channel near you... Southern Fried Tech. Stay-tuned to the SGR for more on that.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Redneck Literati Awards

I'm sorry, I know it's only March, but submissions for Best of Redneck Literati '07 are now closed. You'd have to go way hard, long and deep to top this loony motherfucker's, uh, "prose." A sampling:
Inside, Rene heard boots thunder across the decrepit floor. The whole camp shook. With a slam and a tug, the door raked across the bare floor. Nancy crinkled her nose. The smell of stale cigarettes and mildew was subtle, like a shovel in the face. The odor was so thick they could taste it. “Ooh...” Nancy gagged. Before she could get another word out her eyes bulged.

Standing before them in a dazzling white robe and dunce cap was one the biggest Klansman they had ever seen. Sun spilled in through a smallish window across the room, giving the Grand Dragon an aura of godliness. “Miss Patrick, come in. You’re even prettier in person than you are on TV.” A booming voice, cane syrup smooth and twice as sweet, flowed from behind the patch of bed sheet that veiled Earl Bumfus’ face. With that one sentence, he struck just the right tone, respectful, flattering, and playful. Nancy giggled.

In full here, if you can take the cracker-fried heat. Mon Dior!

Those Wacky NABET Dudes

(or click here)

My favorite (DC) NABE, Jim Long, keeps playing in the social media sandbox. What will the NBC suits think? Heck, what will POTUS think! And will Jim keep his day job? Will he want to when he wins the 25K purse from this contest?

So many unanswered questions, but one thing a lot of folks might want to ponder over in their squirrelly, entrepreneurial-ish minds... when more and more of this generation and this skill set hit the social media scene, run for cover, youths. The bar's going to be re-set. Real high too.

The big guys are in the house now, so Ladies and Gents, I give you Jim Long, or @NewMediaJim over on the Twitter box.

Atlanta Overpowers The World

First we ravage Boston, time now to show-up NYC! Total 80's-in-the-ATL revival show. Hon, lemme tell you... those were some freaky, freaky days. Few survived. But I did! See all you other six 80's-still-alives there no doubt.

Prize to first commenteer who can tell me who was in Wee Wee Pole. (Deliverable at show.)

UPDATE: We have a winner! See pretty little comments place. Only thing is, now I can't be there for this. I'm trying not to cry about it though. But talk about disappointment. Sigh.

Wednesday, March 14th
Eyedrum Gallery
290 MLK Jr. Drive South
(Memorial & Hill)

Watch a promo vid here.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Because The Political Is Social

Seems Republicans have tried their best to ruin the social inherent in the political process (beats me why), so let's just put the social and the political right back where they belong - together at last!

Angela Trigg of Trigger ID has launched a killer social media site for ALL of us politically-minded bloggers and yappers around the South. Now this is my idea of money and time well spent.

What are you waiting for?!! Jump on in and join the (beta) political reindeer games at A Donkey and An Elephant Walk Into A Bar dot com. Meet you there!

Sorry Peach Pundit, AD&E has tons more bells and whistles. Was nice while it lasted though. I take only fond memories with me. (And yeah, that's a southern gal's kiss-off.)

Atlanta Woman Refused Emergency Contraception

The Super Christians are at it again. Yet another woman was once again refused emergency contraception, this time at an Atlanta Kroger. Kroger. Kroger. Kroger. What are we gonna do with you? NOT SHOP AT YOU that's what.

They'll be a NARAL-led press conference at the Capitol tomorrow with Dionne Vann, executive director of NARAL Pro-Choice Georgia and Carrie Baker, local resident who was refused Plan B® emergency contraception at Kroger. Press conference:
Friday, March 9 at 1:00 pm, Capital Plaza
(Washington Street side).
They (Vann and Baker) will announce the launch of a statewide “Emergency Contraception Education Campaign” and call on Kroger and other local pharmacies to stock EC and to ensure that women do not encounter delay or harassment at the pharmacy counter.

These women, and some Georgia Representatives who support a woman's right to choose (apparently there are at least two), will be there for this press conference. NARAL is reaching out to us as media. I appreciate that. Thus I'll sure try to get there. Would be nice to see some bloggers there. Male ones as well.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Be A Twit

OK, forget live-blogging a birth. That's soooo last month. Right now, the hot hot hot trend is Twitter. It is a semi-live/IM with the Who's Who of the blogosphere. For this week at least, until it gets so trendy that wannabees and "things" like the AJC and Edelman PR start showing up. I've been using it for a coupla weeks or so, and right now it's cool. So sign-up, and let's be friends until we all get really really sick and tired of one another!

Live-Blog The Birth

What's the hot trend among blogger men? Live-blogging the birth of their child. Yawn. Wake me up when it's the mom live-blogging it all.

Oh Summertime

I know you're out there somewhere...

Dubious Democrats

Let go! Let go!

Just when you think you got nothin', look what Tom Foolery pops-up in your In Box. Captions please.

Red number is the bottom half of Zell's, uh, assistant. Shoot, even Caren West wouldn't be caught out in public in that number. Ugh. Lose all fashion points. Go directly to Republican party.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Blog It Later

I finally discovered what can keep me from blogging -- tending to a sick kid while working (from home) at the same time. I've just about multi-tasked myself right into the ground. I couldn't even find a moment to blog... 'cept to say I got nothin' 'til the kid's seal-bark cough comes to an end. Ain't happened yet. Back to the kitchen I go...

Monday, March 05, 2007

Cherry Coke Zero

What's one almost sure-fire way to get me to try new (inexpensive) products? If I read an unsolicited thumbs-up for one on someone's blog. Then again, Cherry Coke has always been a Southern beverage staple.

Yeah PS, I too remember soda fountains, particularly the soda fountain at the Variety Store in Highlands, N.C. where you could get a real cherry coke, real being that they'd squirt the syrup in first and mix it with your Coke. And Coke floats too. I still love 'em all. Particularly with a shot of fine rum.

A real good, authentic soda fountain, kinda yupped-up though for today's rich people who are overrunning western North Carolina as we speak, exists on the main drag in Brevard, N.C.

Funk Yourself Silly This Friday

We all know how much the white folk over 35 typically hate hip-hop music. They hate everything about it, finding no redeemable features whatsoever in the music or the culture. But what about black folk? What do they think about living in a hip-hop world?

Well, my friend (old Home Depot TV days) and musician Chilton, who leads the ensemble funk extravaganza band TexBukSex (see video; they're playing Friday!) doesn't hate hip-hop; rather, he's enormously frustrated because he feels that blacks playing and creating in other genres of music, and there are droves, be it soul, rock, funk, blues, etc., are overshadowed and ignored in a hip-hop 'centric world.

Chilton's musical world with TexBukSex is as vibrant and funky and tight and musical and wild and danceable as it gets. I urge you to come out and see 'em this Friday at Emergenza Music Festival, because when you do, you'll not only be giving yourself a completely funked-out roarin' good time, you'll be supporting artists who are fighting against the tide of mass-marketed contemporary musical stereotypes.

Artists like Chilton want you to know they're out there. They're black and they're proud, and they're loud and sweaty and funky as it gets. So come on out Friday night to Midtown to support artists who need to be returned to their soulful, righteous place at the musical table!

Ladies and Gentleman... Chilton and TexBukSex:

Chilton and TexBukSex
March 9, 2007
@ The Vinyl
1374 West Peachtree Street

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Be Sure To Wear Some Bloggers In Your Hair

Famous blogger spotted, but sadly "did not reek of patchouli." Famous blogger also blogs duplicitous rat-smell first whined about here on the SGR, and for a few crumbs from the (other) Cox table.

Like Total Confession: I've been known to wear patchouli, but only when meeting with the Junior League. Hmmm.... I wonder if they're YouTubing their recipes yet? I'd like to tape 'em after they've mixed-up one of their Confederate punch concoctions. Shoot, you've never seen the grosgrain fly off a gal so fast.

Citizen Journalism

Our Leonard (I say "our" as he was one of the first people I met through Atlanta Media Bloggers. Speaking of AMB, we need to regroup, eh gang? Kinda let the group slide into Jello. I'll talk to Sherry about that at PodCamp Atlanta, where, BTW, I'll be rapping for two sessions on Saturday March 17: one at 11:30am about Old Media vs. New Media, and then again at 1:30pm on a video blogging panel. So mark your calendars for PodCamp Atlanta, March 16-18 at Emory. Come yap with me! SG - flight attendant on the social media star fleet.)

Anyways, back to the point here about Leonard Witt, he's blogging like a man on fire about citizen journalism, using the AJC time and time again as an example of what happens when you miss the boat and simply "don't get it." Get on over to his PJNet and learn something (all you'll get here is rant and attitude of course), particularly about this Open Source radio. I'm headed there now.

Journalists want to get paid to write about the community and the world they live in. But God forbid they have to sit down at the same table with it. Shame. It's a great raucous party really. They're the ones missing all the fun.

Reminds me of how so very often I'm asked if I get paid to blog. Or why would I bother if I don't. And I have to say that I get paid just fine, in full and often. It's not just necessarily with cold hard cash; fond as I am of that, I also love my fringe bennies. And sometimes, they turn out to be more valuable. Time will tell. Besides, this dude says he'd hire me to blog!

Keep hope alive.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Secret To Staying Young

I'll share with you, Dear Readers only, my secret to staying youthful. My daughter just picked up a video, read the cover and said, "Wow. This video was made a really long time ago. In 2002. I was just, like, just two or something."

I nodded in feigned agreement while muttering, "Like, totally." See, I really have no other choice but to be youthful. Like it or not.

And You Thought You Were A Geek

Puppet Camp for Jesus. Next thing you know they'll be "imagining" stuff everywhere... like preachers who, like, make-up stuff and all.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Caption Contest

Do you know these two? If so, have at it.

Global Cookie Madness

Girl Scout cookies are in!!! As of 3pm, I've only eaten about fourteen boxes of Thin Mints and six Samoans. And I'll need to put on a bathing suit when? Ugghhh...

I'm just glad I'm not one of these poor fucks being put out to pasture by the Boston Globe who first have to train their replacements before they can get it properly up the ass... their replacements over there in... Bangalore. I swear I am not making this up.

And they're going to lie down and take that shit?!!! Go home and look someone in the eye and tell 'em what they just did for a severance package? At what point do you get so dependent on milk from the shriveled corporate tit that you can't yell "Fuck You" when you obviously need to, suck it up and go get a job at Barnes and Noble, for chrissake?

Just be sure to alert the media before the Boston Globe door knocks you senseless on your way out.


We practically watched live, kinda sorta, as a killer tornado(s) ripped apart a school yesterday and killed children in Alabama. Then a few more people here in Georgia. Then I was shaken-up out of perfectly lovely sex-on-the-beach scenario (that was just a dream, just a dream) by yet another overhead, aerial clusterfuck from all the chopper action due to this horrible, catastrophic scene. (No, I am not going to rush out the door to go get the ghoul footage, although the scene is literally right down the street. That's what local news is for.)

Who needs a freakin' TV show? Jack Bauer can only dream about the level of death and destruction you can pack into a 24-hour time frame down south. And don't get me started on the Kappa Kappa Gimme All Your Money tarts up there in Acworth.

Jeezus Christ. I gotta get outta this town.

UPDATE: They say the driver of the bus that fell onto I-75 was "confused" by the lane situation and exits on Northside Drive and I-75. I've driven back and forth on this particular bridge for years; the signage and the lane situations STILL confuse me. Every single time. So imagine trying to navigate our DOT nightmare for the first time. People have now died trying.

2007 Georgia Technology Summit

Amani braved all the techno snake oil hypesters, and filed a report. So we don't have to.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

What's In Your Bunker?

From The Nation:

On taking office, Dick Cheney promptly began to set up a vice-presidential office that essentially mimicked, and then to some extent replaced, the National Security Council (NSC). Just as promptly, his office plunged itself into utter, blinding secrecy--as journalist Robert Dreyfuss discovered when he simply tried to chart out who was working in this new center of power. No information, it turned out, could be revealed to a curious reporter, not even the names and positions of those who worked for the Vice President, those who, theoretically, were working for us. Cheney's office would not even publicly acknowledge its own employees, no less let them be interviewed.

Lordy, for all we know Britney Spears is in there shaving her head. Full article here. Let the SGR know what you think's in Shooter's bunker! In our pretty little comments place, of course.

Big Media Stops To Assist Stranded Blogger

In what could very well be another shot in the media revolution, I just had an AJC reporter email me to correct a glaring error on my blog. You eagle-eye fellow bloggers, that would be me too, never caught that I'd written "Bob Woodward" all over a blog post instead of "Bob Woodruff." (And yeah, I had to go in and re-order some posts, so if things look weird upon your return to the SGR, it's because I had to delete the original "Bob Woodward" post and replace it with "Woodruff." Screwed up the timeline for the day.)

Boy, do I feel like a total chump. So much for our editorial system of checks and balances here in the blogosphere. Gotta get bailed out by MSM. Hummmpppphhh.

Oh well. You get what you pay for around here. Or maybe they just read Leonard's open letter and decided to "open source" their copy editing skills! Whatever, I'm grateful that someone on the AJC payroll even took 30 seconds to e-mail a blogger. Of course, I'd prefer that he'd posted a comment, but I'll take what I can get.

One email at a time... (Email -- so last century.)

The Overwraughting Of Bob Woodruff

I'm sorry. This sounds so hyper-cynical to take on something like this, but it's not meant to be. It's just that Bob Woodruff was not a soldier. He was a pretty-boy, anchorman-in-training when he was severely injured in Iraq. Bob Woodruff was chasing face time, Big Media glory, and doing exactly what he was told to do. And that's Big Media life-during-wartime.

Even moreso, Woodruff was standing in the enormous shadows of Peter Jennings, who'd just died. ABC News was scrambling to fill shoes that likely will never be filled again. Delivering the news has, of course, changed since. Woodruff had no other choice but to stick his head up out of that tank. That's what they pay you the big anchor bucks to do in Big Media. And how else could he go and get himself some street creds?

Here's the Recovery Doc, filled with breathy, Sawyer-esque exclamations and overtly heightened (produced) drama statements such as "Please live. Please live. Please live", "brilliantly talented cameraman", "heroic."

The Woodruff Family Recovery World Tour itinerary, via TVNewser:
National Print
People Magazine 3/1 on stands
Ladies Home Journal-- April
O Magazine--feature interview with Lee and Melanie Bloom-- April

National TV
Feb 27 - ABC-TV -- Good Morning America-- (Bob only on ABC documentary)
Feb 27 - Oprah Winfrey Show
Feb 27 - ABC-TV -- World News Tonight -- Bob's s story
Feb 27 - ABC-TV -- "To Iraq and Back: Bob Woodruff Reports"
Feb 28 - ABC Good Morning America, Lee and Bob
Feb 28 - National Public Radio --Morning Edition
Feb 28 - National Public Radio--Fresh Air
March 1 -- CNN--Larry King Live
March 3 - CNBC--Tim Russert Show
March 5 - ABC-TV -- The View
March 6 - Fox News Channel -- On The Record With Greta Van Susteren
March 8 - CNN -- Wolf Blitzer
March 9 - PBS -- Charlie Rose Show
March 13 - MSNBC -- Hardball with Chris Matthews
March 5 - Comedy Central -- The Daily Show with Jon Stewart - (Bob only)
March 22 - ABC TV -- Jimmy Kimmel Live
March 22 - Nationally Syndicated--Ellen DeGeneres Show

More here... I bet Anderson Cooper is pea-green with envy. (Now that was cynical!)

"Welcome Hell-Bound Atheists!"

Think we'll see the Holiday Inn out by the Gwinnett Civic Center put that up May 18-19?! Now that would be priceless... but not in my lifetime.

Is religion a "controlled psychosis?" Scientist and author, Robert Sapolsky, takes on the matter in a fascinating essay/speech called "Belief and Biology." From the essay:

What I've just been considering is the superstructure of religion--the big building blocks: there are multiple deities, there is but one god and he is Allah, "I am who I am," any version of this--is an awful lot like schizotypalism. Who is it that invented the notion that virgins can give birth? Who is it who first came in with the extremely psychiatrically suspect report about hearing a voice in a burning bush? In most of the cases we don't know much about the psychiatric status of these folks. In the more recent historical cases, we certainly do, and schizotypalism is at the heart of non Western and Westernized large theological systems.

Now the second chunk of neuropsychiatry and religion I want to talk about is one that shifts to a different scale of what religion is about. Certainly a big chunk of religion is these big theological bits of superstructure that you build your whole belief system on. But what religion very often really is about is the daily behaviors. The daily rituals. Insofar as the devil is in the details, god is in the details too. It's in that realm where we can get insight into the roots of this aspect of religiosity: another neuropsychiatric disorder.

Full piece here.

Open Letter To AJC from PJNet

Leonard Witt at PJNet has a strong, open letter for the AJC. Like they'll ever see it on a blog, Leonard. Get real. They're too busy sprinkling fairy dust, crafting the fantasy that they themselves, again, are the only source of news and information in this state, to deign to read a blog.

Here's an excerpt from the open letter. Full post here.

In the future, as advertising and news diverge, the audiences will have to pay more of the costs. Giving them great journalism will not be enough--that's a sad reality. However, if all of Picard's stakeholders -- advertisers, investors, journalists, consumers and society in general -- feel they have ownership in the paper, and are part of its decision making process, and if the paper and the community are indistinguishable, one adding to the strength of the other, then journalism, the AJC and all of Georgia will profit.

Getting there will require innovative thinking and trust in the power of collective thought, but the lesson of Linus Torvalds says that it can happen -- and as Microsoft learned -- if you stay too closed and don't trust your audience--then that audience will find someone else who will trust it and who understands the worth of community involvement and collective thought. Still it is not too late. Ask us all how we can help preserve a great news organization and improve journalism in this digital age, ask us all how we might get involved. You might be surprised at the answers we can collectively produce.

This post put together by R.E.M.'s Losing My Religion: "I think I thought I saw you try. That was just a dream."

Lighting: The Hand Trick

Handy little tip on other cool things you can do with your hand, especially when out in the field shooting vid.

Look to the hand for your sweet lighting spot.

Turdpolisher On Literary Fire

The Turdpolisher might be a mighty fine TV news cameraman down there in Louisiana, but his real talent lies in writing B movie-like literature. Here's a full-throttle sample:

Gerald watched the Warden waddle out of sight, then lay back on his mattress. He thought of the last time he saw Chastity, and smiled a heavy-hearted smile. She was a fine young thing, hair pulled in a big, blonde ponytail, short-shorts showing off the bottom of her tight, tanned ass, and a pink crop-top with “Tease” written across it in bubble letters. Like anyone who saw her would have doubted it.

He could see her standing in the dirt yard outside her trailer like it was yesterday, her sandaled foot propped on the tire of a dead Cutlass 88. Gerald traced the curve of her calf in his mind. Her skin was soft and smooth. He reached to hide the swelling in his crotch, just like he did on that day. She had a way of doing that to him…that bitch.

“Don’t be ashamed.”

“Who said anythin’ ’bout shame? I’m rememberin’ good times, Father.”

More here.

And TP hon, this post touched even my cold 'ole heart. Had to go get a hanky. Can you put the Valentine's Day package online for us to link to? Or send a URL to one?