Let The Great SC Dissing Begin

Trust the NYT's Alessandra Stanley to fire an opening shot at my ye 'olde home state. As if I could possibly have expected otherwise. I've been totally intimidated, dissed too, by seemingly scores of Ivy League women, given my dubious education credentials and pronounced accent.

It's really rather pathetic, in a Bridget Jones way. Those Ivy Leaguers of all genders could be so haughty and dismissive, and just kinda mean-girl when we used to rub shoulders in network news.

Then again, I could always drink their lipflapping, snotty, privileged, toned butts way under the table... in my day of course. And dissing SC is my territory, Alessandra. Not yours. Nobody really can do it better, if I do say so myself.

Least I can still go out drinking here in Georgia with whomever, wearing whatever, whenever I damn well feel like it, wearing only a comforter and a push-up bra maybe! Lord knows what the women of Iran won't be allowed to do next. This is sickening here. Just sickening. It knots my stomach in a billion different ways for the hell it implies. No need to wonder why I have always been an unapologetic feminist.

Bombing back to the stone age to free women from religious, nonsensical oppression? Sounds plausible, initially; but if I was for that, we'd have to start here in Georgia, given our own religion-inspired nonsensical legislation.

One other thing before you run away... congratulations to Mara Shalhoup at Creative Loafing for her Best Journalist in Atlanta award last night at the APC awards gala. She really deserves that recognition for being the hardest working, lowest-paid reporter in this city. I hope the NYT comes a'callin' for her kinda talent soon.

Sigh... I fear a total Bridget Jones kinda afternoon coming-on here for real. Bloggers must have so many self-esteem issues. Sigh... Know what could really pick me up though? Anyone got ANY good gossip from last night's APC soiree? Did anything remotely resembling monkey biz transpire without me there to blog it? Come on. The SGR needs some good 'ole schadenfreude-dirt right about now.

Feminists Line Up To Blow Boortz

Listen up Ladies... right now WSB Radio lipflapper, Neal Boortz, is going OFF about the idiot wacko President Bush appointed to be the head of family-planning programs at the Department of Health and Human Services. Yeah, the same federal appointee who's grasp of science is limited to statements about birth control being "demeaning to women." Yes, this idiot wacko, Eric Keroack, was anointed by W to rule not the Dept. of UFO Sightings, where he'd have been right at home, but our reproductive health. Un-f-ing-believable.

We should support all WBS Radio advertisers for this hour in return for Boortz spreading the word, like no one else can, about Idiots Amongst Us.

UPDATE: If you're looking for "the line," it came directly from the Washington Post Online link. That's why there's a link. To link to. See above. So click your own self into a frenzy of research. One must assume the WP got the line off of the anti-choice organization's site.

I'm looking for it now on the site, but there are so many hysterical, and hysterically funny, nonsensical "lines" all through it that I'm getting seriously distracted. UPDATE: Found it. It's on page 2 of this PDF, top paragraph. (Thanks WP dude.)

My personal fave so far though is on this similar site: "Memories from past relationships can cause jealousy, competition, anger and hurt. "

Ya don't say!!! Memories are some seriously heavy shit, eh?! Alert the media! Ooops... YOU are the media now. So alert your own broadbanded self and read all the goon-babble you care to here. I gotta go blog...

UPDATE TO UPDATE: Don't forget to mark your calendars now for National Blog Drunk Day! And if anyone is still looking for the source of any other kinda "lines," I'm practicing abstinence (obstinance?) this week (not to be confused with absinthe, which would be more my usual MO). Unless George Clooney shows-up with a bottle of Pernod in hand. Then all bets, and clothes, would naturally be immediately off.

UPDATE FOR THE LAST TIME: Don't forget to go have yourself a slice of TrueGritz fun on your way outta here.

Feminists Line Up To Blow Ted

Awww shucks. And I just wanted to be a damn good blogger. But now, we might get to rule the world! Sure, I'd do Ted -- for this priceless gem alone:

Men should be barred from public office for 100 years in every part of the world. ... It would be a much kinder, gentler, more intelligently run world. The men have had millions of years where we've been running things. We've screwed it up hopelessly. Let's give it to the women.

Full mouthiness here.

Is That Caitlin Singing In The Abby?

So much for the information age! Why am I just now hearing about arch anti-feminist writer, the ultra-fem Caitlin Flanagan? Maybe because I'm on a 3-month backlog of New Yorkers right now. Still, this woman is intriguing, although I gotta hate her, not because she's so icky-retro and loves marriage and suburbs and kittens and stuff. I just hate her already because she once tried to write a novel set in the Deep South. That from a woman who grew up in Berkley. Sacre Bleu! Or maybe I love her because at least she gave up that foolish sacriledge and went for non-fiction instead. Whew.

Whatever she does, she sounds like your basic hypocrite -- praising the at-home environment as a womanly ideal, yet really spending as much time cashing-in while out of it on book tours and cushy assignments.

Listen you elitist piece of shit... I don't know one mom out there who would NOT stay home with their (tiny, helpless) ones if their families could afford to do so, or if an asshole-jerk of an unsupportive spouse wasn't pressuring them to keep working, working, working until they dropped like flies.

That's what happened in my case, and yes, I got depressed and bitter too -- up until the point when I divorced his sorry ass. Bye bye blues then! And yes, Ann Coulter and your "Godless" BS, I go to church every Sunday, get on my knees and thank God I'm no longer married. Take that you barren-mind (uteri too it seems) opportunists.

From today's LA Times:

"She (Flanagan) calls herself an "at-home mom" who would "sooner miss a blood transfusion than an open house" at her sons' school. Yet she acknowledges that she qualifies as a working mother, with gigs at the Atlantic Monthly and the New Yorker. And she has a second book in the works that will expand on her recent article on the "epidemic" of fellatio-obsessed adolescent girls. It's tentatively titled "On Their Knees."

OK... that's totally ick. Those kinda epidemics are for grownups only! And I'm blowin' (hee hee) off soccer practice and headed for the Rusty Nail for happy hour with my best feminista pal, Suzan, an indie filmmaker and mother of two. We'll be sure to knock a cold one back for priss-ass Ms. Flanagan here 'cause I doubt either one of us will be buying the junk she's pushin'. Nor that honky bleach-haired beast's either. (That trash-mouth's new book is out on 666 (6/06/06). I kid you not!)


tag: Caitlin Flanagan, motherhood