Chihuahua Poops On Media Whore's Head

Caren West of The Sunday Paper has deep and abiding issues with other women. Of course, anything odd or foreign and not chock full of unearned platitudes and teeny-bopper cliches about her (Ms. West's) divine ability to take a breath on this planet become Crazy Angry Bitches. Clever, eh? Being a CAB sure beats flying one's dipshit, drunkard flag every week in an ass-wipe paper no person of substance would ever be caught reading. (Just mediocre bloggers apparently.)

I'm sure Laura Mallory could use a copywriter if Ms. West runs out of shoes, chihuahuas and vomit to babble on about. And I hear Ralph Reed's back too! She could stick her limp-haired head up his Mighty-Righty Christian ass -- for money, just like that adorable little Baron cupcake at "TSP" once did.

Shoot, West could just click-off down the hallway in full femme prattle to ask Baron how one does perform a freakshow media-whore act of that magnitude. She (Baron) wrote the texbook after all. Then again, West would have to pull her head outta the Turner-Seydel-Daddy's-Money, do-gooder green butthole first. Tough 'ho-choices, eh?

NOTE: Caren hon, I won't go too hard on you in the SGR, here on out, if you say in your next column that I'm actually quite pretty, a fabulous writer and that my blog deserves to be on the cover of The Economist. If you don't, well then.... may the best bullshitter win! It is seriously tough, tough, tough, tough, tough being a poor relation in this cold, cruel world. I would know.

Klassic Kyra

For all you on the Raging Bimbo Vomit Spotting beat, let me direct your attention to Wonkette's latest entry regarding Kyra Phillips of CNN, a woman still set loose for a cookie-toss on our TV screens every day. Be sure to click-on the Wonkette "Kyra Phillips" tag to scroll a treasure trove of Ms. Phillips' media droppings.

I suppose Ana Marie Cox isn't contributing at all to Wonkette these days. Sigh... since she signed some biggie contract -- with AOL, right? I can only aspire to write one entry as snarky-delicious as that gal, my hero, Ms. Cox.

Then again, I've always got yet another homegrown dipshit, Caren West from the soooo not link-worthy Sunday Paper, to kick around, as I had a mind to do just last week. I might just get there yet with such material to work with. Keep it coming, ladies.