Saturday, July 29, 2006

Remembering All

Now ladies, I know that most of you have been with a man of whom you've worried about the state of his very soul. As in... does he have one? And by the way, where's his heart? I'm not talking about the kinda guy or the kinda relationship where you're pretty sure he's got a heart; he's just not giving it to you. Moreorless, ye olde SITC infamous "He's just not that in to you" scenario. (And yes, that's a wicked-bitter pill for us women folk to, um, swallow, but once you've bitten that, um, bullet, I swear there's smooth, peaceful sailing ahead.... but that's another advice entry for you all together.)

No, I'm talking about the guy so removed from life, removed from the human experience, the day-to-day tiny joys, the run-of-the-mill heartbreaks of this life we're all given that you gotta fear for his very soul. Where did the dude get off the human path and vear so hard into Detatchment La-La Land? How did he get so far removed from us? What drove him away? And what does he do in his spare time besides wack-off to porn? You know the kinda guy... cold at the core, yet you've seen a spark somewhere. You know it when you feel it coming from him. It's there. It's buried. It's been known to rise to the occasion.

You thought you could ignite an entire freakin' emotional fire within the man, but then he slips from you as if he were sinking under your very boat. And there's so little you can do, less you went under too and drowned your own self in the process; only a stupid, utterly hopeless, ain't-tasted-the-good-in-life kinda woman would do that.

Am I right so far, ladies? Even if you know what a strong, solid swimmer you are, you gotta acknowledge that at some point in the rescue effort, you're going to get tired and really cranky. Worn out to the bone. And when women get bone-tired and exhausted, well bad things is sure gonna happen... most likely to themselves. Anyways, there comes a point with a certain kinda man, a certain kinda person, that you worry so whether you could ever trust them - in anything, any effort of the heart in particular.

I've got a little test I've come up with that might help you guage the state of this other emotional life, the other heart, you're confounded by. Help you along to the right decisions and the right relationship path.

If your man watches this Johnny Cash video and has no reaction whatsoever, dump him as fast as you can. Walk immediately and swifty away. He ain't got nothing but a bad, black heart. If he likes it and comments about it in any kinda way, there's reason to stick around. If it makes him cry, well... you know what to do. If you don't know what to do, then I suggest learning more about your own heart, and real soon too -- else he's gonna eventually dump you.

By the way, my ex-husband sent me this video. Talk about something bittersweet. But well, that's all kinda personal for a blog...

Enjoy. It's all life. Just don't ever let it pass you by.

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(BTW, of all the billions of blogs out there, according to Technorati, there is not a single other blog tagged any of these: Life, Heart, Hurt, Just Living or I Remember Everything. Pretty emotionally barren out there in the blogosphere, n'est ce pas?)


Chris Boese said...

OK Grayson, you had to go and do that. Now I'm all tore up, as much by that sad narrative as by the video.

Remind me to send you the link to my best Johnny picture from 1989. It's behind a firewall right now because it was showing up all over the web.


Tania Rochelle said...

You should start your own advice column.

And is anything really TOO personal to blog about? Someone needs to show me where the rules are posted.

crindc said...

Glad to see your ex has developed an appreciation for country music--even if it is redone Nine Inch Nails--after all the shows I dragged him to.
By the way, the just-released fifth volume of Cash's recordings with genius producer Rick Rubin--this is from the fourth--is also very moving.

Carl. from the malevolent vortex of chaos known as DC

Sara said...

Well you just described my ex-boyfriend. (Even down to the whacking off to porn part.)

Thank God there's an "ex-" up there.

Grayson said...

Yeah, the whole porn thing seems to have taken down more than a few good men. Now that you mention it, I can't think of a woman I know whose relationships with men haven't been impacted in some way, typically a VERY bad way, by their man's (stronger) relationship to (Internet) porn.

It really is a plague running loose out there in World 'O Love. And it's sad... very very sad.

I even read something about some suburban, mega-type church here in the ATL that had to restructure its entire outreach ministy just to deal with Porn Plague. And that's just one congregation! Jeez-Us, help us fer sure.

Narcissistic Graffiti said...

One of the most emotional, painful Nine Inch Nails songs. Among Trent Reznor's work, his best song.

You are right about a lack of "Life, Heart, Hurt, Just Living, etc." blog posts. In fact, I felt weird posting a couple recent entries on my blog because they seemed too personal for the blogosphere. However, within 24 hours I was getting lots of traffic from Google because so many people are searching for terms like "dating, love, relationships, etc.". Maybe there is more room for this kind of stuff in the blogosphere.