Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Where Goeth Ted Turner's Glorious Ding Dong...

Oh Gawd and Baby Jesus! Our big honkin' homie Ted's latest seduction of somebody's wife, this time the total mental case writer, Elizabeth Dewberry, aka the spouse belonging to number #1 narcissist/novelist Bob Olin Butler, has spawned the best comments ever on the Internets! Oh, they are freakin' priceless, confirming the collective wit of the American public in times of literary crisis.

But first you gotta read the email written (and circulated by Gawker, for starters) by the cuckolded Butler to get to the Priceless Comments place. A sample of Butler's email, sent to the department in whatever school he teaches in, is below. The whole spoiled rotten Gawker enchilada, entire email with comments, is here.

She will not be Ted's only girlfriend. Ted is permanently and avowedly non-monogamous. But though he has several girlfriends, it is a very small number, and he does not take them up lightly and he gives them his absolute support when he does. And Elizabeth's leaving me is as much about the three weeks a month she is alone as it is about the week a month she is with Ted. She will find her own space and her own light in which to create the great works of art she is destined to create.

I will keep my house. I will keep my dogs and cats. I will keep virtually everything. She is being characteristically generous about that. But I will lose Elizabeth. And that is very sad. But the loss has been happening through many years of our shared struggle to make her whole. In that, I've done all I can do, as has she. I wish her the best. I ask you not to think ill of her in any way.

Again, the comments section awaits you here. Scroll down. Meow! Woof!

6 comments:

Sara said...

I presume she is the hot blonde my parents have reported seeing on Ted's arm at multiple restaurants in their area of North Georgia in the last year.

Sara said...

Oh, and the "whatever school" is my alma mater, FSU. I vaguely recalled these names and had to look them up to figure it out even though I was an English major in said department at said school. Obviously not the creative writing kind.

Grayson said...

That is no doubt the one(s). You'd think that dude's schlong (Ted's) would have rotted off by now. Apparently not.

steven edward streight said...

This is funny. Ted Turner is such an atheist dork.

"...in trying to make her whole" is a funny remark, with half-hidden barbs.

Grayson said...

Yeah, like she is one totally cracked up broad apparently. But then, I'm just not really believing much outta this dude's mouth/mind right about now. He's a fiction writer afterall. They're all fabulous real-life liars.

steven edward streight said...

yeah, fiction writers like the founder of the malicious cult Scientology