How To Talk To Your Child About Rednecks

Riding along in the car yesterday...

Kid: "Mom, what's a redneck?"

Mom (me): "Hmmm, let's see. A redneck is a derogatory term, for the most part. One people use to describe a person, a southerner, who talks slow and sounds dumb when they do. Doesn't necessarily mean they're dumb, just that they sure sound like it whenever they open their mouth. Or a redneck can be used to describe people who live in the country, and, uh, don't go to fancy restaurants all the time like we do in Atlanta. They don't have Whole Foods on every corner... stuff like that."

Silence from backseat. Then...

Kid, very indignant, near tears: "Well, Grammy (my mother) lives in the country and she's not dumb! She used to teach school!"

Me: "Yeah, she shops at Whole Foods too."

Another long silence...

Kid: "I don't think I know any rednecks."

Sometimes, it's best just to say nothing.