Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Single Ladies' Valentine's Day Survival Checklist

Countdown to the most miserable day of the year has begun. No wonder I don't feel like blogging. I'll just get an early start on the wretched blackness and pull the covers back over my head now, commence the pity party early.

Single Ladies' Valentine's Day Survival Checklist:

1.) Chocolate. Lots of it

2.) Ice cream. Lots of that too

3.) Blanket

4.) Citron Absolut

5.) Cigs (or nic gum at least)

6.) TJ Maxx nearby

7.) Angst-ridden male movie star card set: Jeremy Irons, Ralph Fiennes, Nigel Tufnel

8.) Kate Bush CDs at the ready

9.) Even "Rumors" if it gets rough

10.) Xanax

11.) Bible

12.) No fucking flowers ANYWHERE in house

13.) "Stay Away From Bars and Bad Men" written on Post-Its around house, on fridge

14.) Pizza

15.) Sushi

16.) Ludicrously expensive foam bath stuff

17.) Big screen TV

18.) All seasons: AbFab, Weeds, SITC

19.) Copy of Spinal Tap

20.) Sports car

8 comments:

possum said...

Gosh, the list for guys is a lot shorter:

1) TV
2) Beer

Grayson said...

Women are miles more complex. Thankfully.

griftdrift said...

If you reverse everything in number 13 it would be the man list.

Except we don't do post-it notes. It just runs through our head every 20 seconds.

Sara said...

"Stay Away from Men and Bad Bars?" *snicker*

Grayson, being a single girl on V-Day ain't so bad. There are a lot of lousy guys out there who you DON'T have to pretend to give a shit about or be physically attracted to on this day. Just remember that...a lot of women are going to fake their way through a lot of bad sex tomorrow.

I think "Rabbit Pearl" is missing from your list. Trust me on this one.

Grayson said...

Right you are, Sara! As always.

21) Aqua Blue Magic "wand"

Tania Rochelle said...

I hit comments to add vibrator, but y'all got it covered.

possum said...

Too bad this only played one night! "Vodka, Fucking and Television" at Dad's Garage:

http://atlanta.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A195870

Deep Thapa said...

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